Developing A Good Tapping Habit

We all have some habits that we wish we didn’t, e.g. biting our nails or smoking. EFT is an excellent tool to use to help you get rid of unwanted habits. What I’d like to share with you today are some ways to get into a good habit – regular tapping. This is another question I get asked a lot by clients – how can they remember to use it on a regular basis.

Good habit
How to develop a good tapping habit?

 

Many people recognise that EFT is a fantastic self help tool, but they get so busy and caught up with everyday life that they forget to do it. It only works when you use it and sometimes you have to use it quite a lot. One of the key things with EFT is persistence and chasing the pain back to the root cause (not just tapping on your symptoms). So how can we remind ourselves to tap on a regular basis?

Tips

Here are some ways that you can develop a good tapping habit:

  • Schedule it (yes literally put it in your diary/calendar)
  • Tap in the morning as part of your ablutions (e.g. before you shower or after brushing your teeth)
  • Tap every time you use the bathroom
  • Tap before your lunch
  • Tap before you pick up the phone
  • Use EFT before any meetings
  • Tap whilst stuck in traffic (perfect for road rage!)
  • Before bed, tap on anything that didn’t go so well/anything that upset you
Schedule
Schedule EFT

I hope that these help you make EFT a good habit. If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

I always recommend working with an experienced EFT practitioner if you have a long standing or complex issue. We can do a lot of very valuable work by ourselves but it is always better to work with a practitioner who will guide and support you when you need it.

Keep tapping
Louise

 

I Can’t Get Back To Sleep

I Can’t Get Back To Sleep

You manage to go to sleep ok and think that’s it for the night, but then you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep. You toss and turn and try plumping up your pillow. You may even get up to go to the toilet or have a drink of water. But when you get back into bed, you just lie there getting frustrated! Your thoughts start churning and you start worrying about work or money or the economy or the destruction of the rainforests! It doesn’t matter what it is you’re worrying or thinking about you just can’t get back to sleep. Then you check your clock every couple of minutes and get stressed about how little sleep you’ll get.

I can't get back to sleep
I can’t get back to sleep

Sleep Deprived

Any one who has suffered a sleep deprived night knows just how horrible it is. The next day you struggle because you’ve not had enough sleep and you can feel tired and like you have brain fog! You can’t focus properly and maybe your work suffers. It takes you longer to do things that you’d normally fly through. Emotionally wise we can be more sensitive and something that would normally not bother us can send us off into meltdown.

Tap In Bed

So what can we do? You can try tapping in bed. If you are in bed with a partner, you might want to try tapping very quietly and gently or just finger tap. If you’re on your own, then you can be as loud as you like! Here’s some tapping statements that you might find helpful to get you started:

  • Even though I went to sleep fine, why oh why did I have to wake up?
  • Even though I was fast asleep, something woke me up and I’m pissed off
  • Even though I get so upset and frustrated when I wake up in the night, I choose to accept this anyway
  • Even though I’m so stressed that I can’t go back to sleep, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I worry about how little sleep I’ll get, I choose to accept myself
  • Even though I hate not being able to go back to sleep, I love and accept myself anyway

Use a few of the statements that resonate with you and tap a few rounds. Always tune in to how you feel and use your words where possible. Hopefully these statements will trigger what feels right for you.

Check-in

Once you’ve tapped a few rounds, you may start to feel a bit better. Check-in with how you feel now. If you have cleared enough of the ‘negatives’ it could be time to use some more positive choices.

The next statements offer some choices that may help you too:

  • Even though I hate waking up in the middle of the night, I wonder if I can go back to sleep easily?
  • Even though I feel upset about waking up, I’m curious if I can let that go and go back to sleep
  • Even though I worry about {work/money etc}, what if I can easily let that go
  • Even though I get so stressed when I wake in the middle of the night, maybe I can be less bothered and fall asleep again
  • Even though I feel so awake, I wonder if I can start to feel drowsy and relaxed

Try tapping on whatever alternate choice feels good for you. Slow rhythmical tapping can be helpful. Breathe slowly and deeply and hopefully you’ll soon drop off to sleep.

Wishing you a good nights sleep 🙂

Sleep well
Sleep Well

If you’d like some help, drop me an email.

Louise

Working With Our Monkey Mind

Monkey Mind

Working with our monkey mind!

Monkey Mind
Monkey Mind

At times it can feel as if we have a monkey in our mind. We can feel out of control and our minds seem to have a mind of their own! Our thoughts jump from one topic to another to another. Our feelings can also bounce all over the place, leaving us feel unsettled. So what can we do when we feel the monkey has taken over?

Here I will discuss a couple of different options – EFT and Mindfulness.

EFT

EFT is a great tool for helping us deal with our emotions and what we are feeling. So tune in to how you feel – are you frustrated, annoyed, sad or angry? Whatever the feelings or emotions are you can use them in your tapping. Here’s an example:

  • Even though I’m annoyed that my monkey mind has taken over, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway
  • Even though it feels like there’s a monkey in my mind and I feel scared and out of control, I choose to accept all of me anyway
  • Even though I feel frustrated and angry that my monkey mind is out of control, I wonder if I can accept myself anyway

Then complete as many rounds as you need to reduce these feelings and emotions as close to a zero on the SUDS scale as you can (10 = maximum anger etc and 0=none).  You may need to do many rounds of tapping, depending on what is going on. Remember to be thorough and try to get to 0 if you can. Adjust the wording each round if necessary as you get closer and closer to the underlying cause of your monkey mind.

Mindfulness

It can be hard to meditate when you have a monkey in your mind. It’s important here to bring the qualities of kindness, compassion and non-judgement to your practice.

Quite often the harder we try, the more the monkey plays up! So go with it – don’t judge, just acknowledge the different thoughts and feelings as they come up. “Oh there goes my monkey mind again!”. Note what type of thoughts you’re having and name them e.g. “thinking, thinking”, “worrying, worrying”, “planning, planning”.

Then very gently, bring your mind back to your focus – e.g. your breath moving in and out of your belly. Or you may want to use a certain body anchor to focus on e.g. the stillness in your feet.

You may need to bring your mind back tens or hundreds of times – and that’s ok. Your mind will naturally wonder from time to time and sometimes the monkey will want to play more! Each time just bring a calm, kind acknowledgement to where it has been and bring it back to your anchor. Some days will be easier than others. Always remember to be kind and compassionate to yourself and your practice. You really are doing the best you can.

Combination

I have found it to be really helpful to do some tapping before I meditate. I tap to identify the source of my monkey mind first. After tapping several rounds I am usually calmer and more centred. I am then in a much better position to sit down and do my meditation. I then find that my mind is much less monkey like and able to stay focused on my breath or body anchor for my meditation.

I recently discovered this wonderful poem about our monkey mind by Kaveri Patel.

Thanking a Monkey

There’s a monkey in my mind
swinging on a trapeze,
reaching back to the past
or leaning into the future,
never standing still.

Sometimes I want to kill
that monkey, shoot it square
between the eyes so I won’t
have to think anymore
or feel the pain of worry.

But today I thanked her
and she jumped down
straight into my lap,
trapeze still swinging
as we sat still.

by Kaveri Patel
(http://www.wisdominwaves.com)

I hope that this has helped you work with your monkey mind 🙂

Louise

How To Fit Mindful Moments Into A Busy Day

We all know that mindfulness is great for reducing stress and anxiety, improving our focus, memory and reducing our blood pressure. But it can be so hard sometimes to fit it in. Well you don’t have to practice for a long time every day. Even a few minutes can make a difference. Read on to find out how to fit mindful moments into your busy day 🙂 …

Mindful moments
Mindful moments

Mindfulness is about being present in the present moment with awareness of what is happening.

“Mindfulness is the awareness that emerges through paying attention:
      on purpose,
        in the present moment,
          and nonjudgmentally,
            to things as they are.”  – Jon Kabat-Zinn

As well as formal meditation practice there are many different ways you can be more mindful. We’re often in automatic pilot where we’re performing tasks and doing things without being aware of it. This is great for certain things like brushing our teeth or getting dressed but not so useful when we want to be present, e.g. when we realise we haven’t really been paying attention in a meeting and we’re expected to give our opinion (oops!).

Mindful Moments

Here are some ways to fit some mindful moments into your busy day:

  • When you wake up take some slow deep breaths. Feel your whole body on the bed and really connect with it. This is a great way to start your day.
  • Whenever you make a drink do some mindful stretches. Raise your arms slowly above your head and feel the effect of the stretch on your arms, shoulders, back and neck. Rotate your shoulders or stretch your legs – whatever feels good to your body.
  • Pause whenever the phone rings. Drop your shoulders, adjust your posture and then answer.
Phone
Pause before answering
  • Before emailing, take a couple of deep breaths. Let go of any tension. Ask yourself if you really need to do this now or can it wait until later?
  • When you get home from work, spend a few minutes doing a short mindful meditation. It can be as simple as just watching your breath for a few minutes. Noticing the inhalation and your belly inflating, noticing your exhalation and your belly deflating. Just focus on your breath and let everything else go.
  • Mindfully prepare your meal. Notice the colours, shapes, textures and smells of your food. Notice how your body feels as you prepare and cook your meal.
  • Mindfully do the dishes or stack the dishwasher. Notice the feel of the water, the bubbles and texture of the cloth. Or if you’re stacking the dishwasher, be mindful about where you’re placing the dishes, glasses etc.

Practice

There are lots of ways you can slip in these mindful moments to your day. I suggest that you try just one or two a day and practice them for a few days or a week and see how you get on. Then try a different couple and practice those. Mix and match the ones you find most useful and the ones you find most challenging.

I hope that you’ve found these suggestions useful. Let me know your favourite ways of being more mindful.

Here’s a short mindful meditation I created last year. It is only 6 minutes long and takes you on a mindful forest walk. I hope you enjoy 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH3zudbobIg

Mindful Forest Walk
Mindful Forest Walk

 

Louise

Wishing You A Merry Christmas 2016

Christmas
Merry Christmas 2016

Well, here it is – Christmas 2016. Wishing you a truly wonderful Christmas. I hope that you enjoy the time with your family and friends. I am looking forward to catching up with my family and friends and enjoying lots of quality time with my husband and step daughter.

Remember to tap if you start to feel overwhelmed. All you need to do is to focus on what it is that you are feeling. So if it is stress or overwhelm having too much to do then focus on that. Notice where in your body you feel that stress (e.g. tightness in your chest) and use that in your tapping, e.g.

  • Even though I feel so stressed and I still have so much to do, I choose to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel tightness and restriction in my chest when I think of all I still have to do for Christmas, I accept my feelings
  • Even though my chest is so tight and I’m so stressed because I still have too much to do, I accept this is how I feel right now

Keep tapping and tapping! You will probably need a few rounds of tapping and remember to keep changing the words as your feelings and body sensations change. Daily tapping might be helpful 🙂

I also highly recommend getting away from everyone (even for 5 minutes) and doing some mindful meditation. Just focus on your breathing. Bring your awareness to your inhalation and your exhalation, noticing the full breath. Notice where you are holding any tension and breathe into that area. See if you can relax the tension on your out breath. Repeat as necessary!

Checkout my previous Christmas posts too:

How To Avoid The Christmas Overindulgence

Christmas Tapping

Tap Your Christmas Stress Away

Love & blessings,
Louise

Mindful or Mindless Eating – You Decide!

Can you remember the last thing you ate? Did you eat it with mindful awareness or did it slip down without much attention? Do you eat whilst working or watching the TV? Maybe you’ve gone to take another sip of your drink and realise that it’s all gone? Or you go to eat another crisp and realise the packet is empty. This is eating mindlessly or on auto-pilot where we are thinking of other things.

Mindful Coffee?

We can change this by becoming more mindful whilst we eat or drink. The next time you go to eat something try to do it mindfully. Look at the food first. Imagine that this is the first time that you’ve seen it. Notice the colours, shapes, textures or patterns. Become aware of any feelings you have about eating it. Take a piece or a forkful and bring it slowly up towards your mouth. Savour any smells that are present. Is your mouth now watering?

Notice how you feel again. Slowly put the piece or mouthful of food into your mouth. Bring your awareness to the sensations on your tongue. Begin to slowly move the food around your mouth and start chewing. Notice the sensations in your teeth and the saliva in your mouth. Does your stomach feel different as it anticipates the arrival of this food? When you are ready, swallow the food. See if you can feel it as it heads towards your stomach. Once again, notice how you feel.

Mindful eating salad

 

This is probably very different to how you normally eat. If you have time, repeat this exercise again with the next piece or mouthful. See if you can eat a whole meal this way. It can be quite a challenge. You may end up eating less this way because you have noticed the sensations in your body and enjoyed the food, rather than mindlessly shovelling it in!

You can expand on this to mindfully cook your food. For example, take in all the colours of the vegetables as you place them on your chopping board. Feel the sensations in your hands as you peel, slice or chop them. Become aware of the sounds that are being made. Bring your awareness to all of your sensations as you start to cook your food. Pay particular attention to the smells as the food cooks. Be aware of your body as it responds to these sensations and starts to anticipate eating the food.

You can even think about where the food came from, where it was grown and how it got to the supermarket etc.

Enjoy your next meal! 🙂

Noticing Stress In Your Body

One of the things we can do to help our stress levels is becoming more aware of our stress. Noticing how our body responds when we start to feel stressed.

Stressed body
Stress in your body
  • Do you get a tightness in your neck and shoulders?
  • Do you find yourself clenching your jaw?
  • Maybe your digestion plays up
  • You start getting headaches
  • Or your throat becomes tight

Whatever it is, just observe it. Acknowledge it is there. Then when you have acknowledged it, try accepting it. You could do some tapping for this. For example:

  • Even though I feel my throat becoming tight, I acknowledge and accept that my body is trying to tell me I’m getting stressed
  • Even though my shoulders are getting tense, I know that means I’m starting to get stressed

Once you have acknowledged and accepted your stress showing up in your body, try thanking your body. E.g.

  • Even though I don’t like the feel of my tight neck and shoulder muscles, I’m grateful for my body and it letting me know I’m getting stressed
  • Even though my jaw is so tight it hurts, I’m grateful for the warning that I’m starting to get stressed

Then try to do something to help reduce your stress levels. I believe that we need to address what is causing our stress levels and also do something to counter that stress. So you could do a combination of working to reduce your task list / asking for help and do something to help you feel physically better. Whether that is some more EFT, Meditation, a walk in nature, a massage or long soak in the bath etc that is up to you.

Do whatever works best for you. If you don’t know, then it is time to start finding out… 🙂

Your health and well-being deserve it!

Louise

A Walk On The Mindful Side…

Meditation doesn’t have to be static, sat still on a chair or a cushion. We can be more mindful doing everyday tasks such as the washing up, cooking or brushing our teeth. It’s about being more present in the present moment. This morning on my walk in the forest I decided to be more mindful. I kept the same pace as I usually would but I became more present with my surroundings. Autumn is an ideal time to do this because of the changing colour of the leaves. I love the Autumnal colours so I relished the idea of taking in more of their beauty.

I really listened to the sounds I could hear and just noticed the quality of the sound rather than labelling them (e.g. wind rustling in the trees, leaves crunching, birds singing etc). I took in the colours of the leaves and all the vibrant shades. I noticed the leaves that were still green and those that had started to change colour. I also observed the leaves that had fallen already and the shapes they made on the ground.

Mindful Walking Autumn
A Walk on the Mindful Side

I noticed the sensations in my feet and legs as I took each step. I became aware of my breath and felt it moving in and out of my body. You can notice it at your nostrils, your chest or your abdomen depending on what you find easiest. You can even say to yourself – “breathing in” and “breathing out” to help you focus.

I felt the temperature of the air on my face and hands and felt the wind blowing my hair.  Finally I felt a sense of gratitude for being alive and experiencing the healing power of nature.

Next time you walk anywhere, why not try making it a bit more on the mindful side? It doesn’t have to be in nature – it could just be a walk to the shop or from your bus stop home! Just give it a go and see what happens. 🙂

Louise

 

 

 

Body Awareness

How much body awareness do you have? This might seem like a strange question – of course we are physically in our body at all times.

Body awareness

What I’m referring to, is how much awareness do you have of your body? How much time are you present in your physical body?

It’s all too easy to get caught up in our thoughts and mind. We are often so busy we rush from one task to the next, to the next, to the next…We are rarely present in our physical body.

So how can we slow down and remind ourselves that we have this amazing body?

How about setting a reminder on your phone or computer? Or making it part of your daily routine, e.g. first thing in the morning, at lunchtime or before you go to sleep…

You just need to take a few slow deep breaths. Make your body comfortable, sitting in an upright position. Tune in to your body. Close your eyes if that feels ok. Maybe even ask your body how it feels? Let your focus move through your body, scanning each area in turn. Notice any tension and see if you can breathe gently into that area and soften it. Maybe thank your body for all the wonderful things it does (without you being aware of them). Ask your body what it needs. It could be more movement, water, food, rest etc. Notice what comes up for you and see if you can do what your body needs. Take another few slow deep breaths and when you feel ready, open your eyes again. See if you can keep this body awareness with you for awhile.

I hope that this helps you be a bit more mindful and you find it a helpful way to take a time out and be present in your body.

Louise

Will EFT Work On My X Issue Too?

Another question I frequently get asked by clients is: Will EFT Work On My X Issue Too?

FAQ - Will EFT work on my X issue?

Say a client has come to me for their stress and anxiety at work issue. They will often only think of using EFT on that issue. They won’t think to use this amazing tool on their fear of spiders issue or when they have an argument with their partner, or when they have a headache etc.

So my advice is always the same – just try it! When clients have resolved their original issue they often forget about EFT and don’t think to use it on other things that come up in their life. I always aim to teach my clients that this amazing tool is theirs – it’s at their fingertips.

Most people need a reminder from time to time though. So my advice is to do some tapping on a daily basis so that it becomes a good habit. That way we don’t have to think about it – we automatically start doing it in times of need. EFT becomes their ‘go to’ self help tool.

Here’s some ways I’ve used EFT this week to give you an idea:

  • Daily affirmations (remember to get rid of your “yes buts” first before working with affirmations)
  • Stuck behind a slow moving lorry when running late
  • Feeling stressed when trying to multi task too many things at once
  • Tight and painful shoulders (as a result of previous point!)
  • After hearing some upsetting news from a friend

EFT has helped me so much in so many ways. My aim is to educate and spread the word about this amazing tool so that you can benefit from it too.

So, why not try making EFT a part of your daily self care? That way, you will think of using it for your X issue 🙂

Keep tapping
Email Louise

You Give Me Road Rage…

Road Rage
Traffic jam – road rage or calm acceptance?

Have you ever had road rage? We can all get stressed when stuck in an unexpected traffic jam. But what if you find yourself getting angry and frustrated every time you get behind the wheel? If you have to drive a lot then this can become a big problem. Not only does it make your journey more difficult, it is causing unnecessary stress in your life.

Time to do some tapping…

Acknowledge how the anger/frustration and stress is getting to you when you drive:

  • Even though I get angry/frustrated every time I get behind the wheel…
  • Even though I seem to be getting stressed every time I drive lately…
  • Even though I seem to have road rage on every journey…
  • Even though I get angry and frustrated and shout and swear at other drivers…
  • Even though my stress levels are really high when driving…
  • Even though I seem to be angry and stressed whenever I drive lately…

Notice where you feel the emotions in your body:

  • Even though I have all this tension and knots in my shoulders when I’m driving…
  • Even though my jaw is clenched tight when I’m driving…
  • Even though my heart is beating fast and I feel so angry and frustrated behind the wheel…
  • Even though I feel hot and sweaty when I’m driving…

You will get better results when you are more specific. So it’s a good idea to tap on specific events from the past when you’ve been particularly angry/frustrated or stressed during a journey.  So tap on the time you had road rage when you were late for an important meeting or you missed your child’s performance in the school play.  Work on all the emotions that come up for you in these events, e.g. guilt, shame, embarrassment etc.

When you’ve worked on the most intense specific events, you should be less triggered in the future. So think about what you can do to help the situation on a practical level. Examples could be leaving earlier, going a different route, re-arranging your day so you don’t have to drive in rush hour traffic, car sharing/taking turns with someone. You may need to tap on those things too:

  • Even though I know I should leave earlier but I always seem to be running late…
  • Even though I know I should go a different route, I seem to be on auto-pilot in the mornings…
  • Even though I always seem to have to do all the driving…

Remember to tap any time that you are triggered. You can tap whilst driving, if safe to do so e.g. just tapping the finger points with your hand on the wheel or when you stop at traffic lights.

I hope that this helps your road rage to disappear!

Keep tapping
Louise

Mental Health Awareness Week

MHAW-round-stickerm-png-300x300

This week has been mental health awareness week in the UK. I was very pleased to do a presentation on Monday at the RSPB in Exeter.

I spoke about stress – what it is and how it affects us. I introduced the staff to a short Mindfulness meditation that can even be done at your desk at work. I also demonstrated EFT and how that can be used to help with stress at work and helping you achieve a better work/life balance. Which is something most people can relate to.

There are many tools out there can be very helpful for our mental health. For more info on EFT checkout my website http://freeflowingenergy.com/eft/. There’s also a great deal of helpful info at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

EFT and Mindfulness are two tools that help keep me on an even keel. I wouldn’t be without them now. Having suffered from stress and anxiety in my previous career as a Software Engineer, I know from first hand experience how horrible it can be. Fortunately I now have the pleasure of teaching these amazing tools to other people.

Here’s to your health & well being!
Louise

 

 

Do I Have To Speak Out Loud?

monkey-987886_1280

Another question I get asked a lot is:

Do I have to speak out loud when tapping?

In a session with a practitioner, we normally repeat the statements out loud when we tap. Many people find it a bit weird speaking out loud when they tap by themselves. The great thing is you don’t have to do it! EFT is a very flexible tool.

Here are some ways you can try to see which suits you best.

  • Tap silently – repeating your statements in your mind only
  • Write down your statements and tap whilst reading them

If you are ok with speaking out loud, you can try these versions:

  • Tap whilst whispering the statements
  • Try shouting out your statements (great if you’re stuck or need to really vent)
  • Sing your tapping statements
  • Use a silly voice – this works especially well if you’re tapping on something someone said – you can exaggerate their voice

Keep tapping (whichever way you decide to do it)
Louise

How Often Should I Tap?

calendar-1135273_1280

This is not an easy question to answer, but one I get asked all the time by my clients.

The answer very much depends on you. Think about the reason for tapping and how quickly you want results.

Personally, I tap every single day. Some days it’s just for 5 minutes. Other days it’s a whole hour if I’m doing a ‘proper’ session. Often, it’s somewhere in between.

  • If you have a long standing or chronic condition then I definitely recommend tapping every day.
  • If you want quick results then again I recommend tapping every day.
  • If you feel stressed every day then I definitely recommend tapping every day!

It is not always easy to find the time. You have to make the time.  Most of us can manage to find 5 minutes in our busy day. So start with that. Just 5 minutes. On days where you have more time then tap for longer. The more you tap, the more you’ll benefit. So get started 🙂

Keep tapping
Louise

 

Happy New Year 2016

Happy New Year 2016.jpg

Wishing you a Happy New Year 2016.

Instead of having New Year Resolutions, which normally get dropped by the second week of January, I like to set myself goals for the year.

You can start out by asking yourself some questions about how your 2015 was, e.g.

  • What were my gifts?
  • What were my successes?
  • What were my challenges?
  • What was my biggest lesson?

Then think about what you want to achieve in 2016. If you have a big goal, e.g. studying for a qualification, then it can really help to break it down into smaller goals. So you might have a goal each term, or for each major piece of coursework.

Then write out your goals for 2016. You can get really creative and use a vision board and fill it with your goals and inspiration to help you along the way. Stand in front of your board every day and visualise how good it will feel to achieve your goals. You can use EFT on any issues you have along the way, e.g. fear of doing a speech, anxiety about a test, feeling overwhelmed etc.

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

Gail Devers

Wishing you lots of happiness and success in 2016.

Keep tapping
Louise