I feel like a freak

Ok, I’ve said it. I feel like a freak.

Have you ever said those words to yourself?

Have you ever thought, “I’m the only one who feels like this!!!”?

If you’re a woman with fertility issues, then I bet you’ve felt something like this before. If you’ve been trying for a baby for a while and had no success I’m sure you’ve said:

  • Why me?
  • It’s not fair
  • What’s wrong with me?
  • Why can’t I get pregnant?
  • What have I done wrong?
  • I’ll never get pregnant

Well, let me reassure you…you are not a freak! You most certainly are not alone.

I have lots of clients who experience these exact feelings. One of the most common feelings is jealousy. I am always surprised by how many women find this a taboo subject. That’s why I felt compelled to write this. I don’t want any woman to feel like a freak or that she is alone.

Jealousy is a perfectly normal emotion to experience if you are having trouble getting pregnant. You may think that everywhere you turn there is a pregnant women. Or you may see babies and toddlers where ever you go.

Let me assure you that there isn’t a sudden increase in pregnant women and babies. You are just tuned in to them and that is why you notice them. There is a special part of your brain (called the RAS – Reticular Activating System) that acts like an antenna. You are desperate to get pregnant and have a baby so your RAS responds and flags them to you everywhere you go.

Your RAS keeps showing you what you are tuned in to. It is no wonder that you feel jealousy, envy, sadness, despair every time you notice that you don’t have what you really want.

Another big emotion that then shows up is guilt! You feel guilty about feeling jealous or envious. You think “I should be happy for my best friend / sister /neighbour” etc. But you don’t. You feel jealous and envious and really wish it was you who was pregnant or just had a baby. So you feel guilty and that adds to all the negative energy and stress you are experiencing.

So what can you do about it? You do not have to suffer these emotions and feelings alone. You do not have to hide your feelings from everyone. You can get help. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can eliminate all of the negative feelings and stress. EFT is easy to learn and very effective.

Below are some sample tapping statements to try. Always tune in to your feelings first and score them on a scale of 0 to 10 (where 10 is the maximum intensity). Keep tapping on each emotion until it comes down to 0.

Replace the dots with whoever it is you are jealous of e.g. friend / sister / neighbour

  • Even though I feel so jealous of my …………….. because she’s got a baby and I haven’t, I’m open to accepting myself and my feelings
  • Even though I feel envious and I don’t want to think about my …………….. because it’s so unfair that she’s got a baby and I haven’t, I accept how I feel about this
  • Even though I feel jealous of my …………….., she’s a lucky cow and it’s so unfair that she’s got a baby and I haven’t, I’m open to accepting myself

Eyebrow: I’m so jealous of ……………..
Side of Eye: I wish I could be happy for her
Under Eye: Why do I feel this envy of ……………..
Under Nose: I feel so much jealousy
Under Chin: I hate feeling all this jealousy
Collarbone: I wish I didn’t feel this way
Under Arm: All this jealousy
Top of Head: It’s so unfair that …………….. has a baby and I don’t

Take a deep breath and tune in to your feelings again. If your jealousy feelings are at zero then you can move on to the next feeling. If not, keep tapping on jealousy until you are down to zero.

  • Even though I feel so sad that I can’t get pregnant, I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, I’m open to accepting myself and my feelings
  • Even though I feel this sadness in my heart because I can’t get pregnant, I accept how I feel about this
  • Even though I can’t stop thinking it’s all my fault that I can’t get pregnant and I’m obsessed by wanting a baby, I’m open to accepting myself

Eyebrow: All this sadness in my heart
Side of Eye: I feel so sad that I can’t get pregnant
Under Eye: I’m desperately sad because I can’t have a baby
Under Nose: I feel so sad that I’m not pregnant
Under Chin: I hate feeling all this sadness and desperation
Collarbone: I wish I didn’t feel this way
Under Arm: All this sadness in my heart
Top of Head: It’s so unfair that I can’t get pregnant

Remember to use your words, where appropriate. Keep on tuning in to each emotion or feeling in turn and tap until it is down to zero before moving on to the next one. Keep on tapping until you have worked on all of your emotions and stress.

If you would like some help with Emotional Freedom Techniques, I would love to help you. I offer sessions worldwide over the telephone or on Skype. If you would like a face to face session I do these in Cardiff or Exeter and Okehampton, Devon. Please give me a call on 07866 013 637 or use the contact form. I offer a free telephone consultation for you, to see if you would like to work with me. I look forward to helping you overcome your negative emotions and stress.

4 thoughts on “I feel like a freak

  1. Thank you for speaking up about this. I’ve had my own experience using EFT tapping to overcome the pain of a miscarriage and I’m so glad I was introduced to it. This is a topic not often discussed, but so very important.

    1. Hi Ann,
      Yes indeed. It is quite a taboo subject and one I feel very passionate about. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Several of my friends have had miscarriages and it is a terrible thing to go through. EFT can really help with all these emotions. Take care, Louise

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