Who is Pushing Your Buttons?

That’s an interesting phrase isn’t it? Pushing our buttons. It is usually our family, children, friends or colleagues that push our buttons. We’re closer to them, we care about them more. We care what they think and feel. We have feelings for them…and in turn they can cause a reaction in us that others just can’t. 

button © ioannis kounadeas http://www.fotolia.com/id/15998391

Well, let’s just stop there for a second. Who is driving our bus? We are. We’re in control remember? No-one can “make” us feel a certain way. It’s our choice how we feel and re-act. Yes really.

I know, I know, it’s hard to accept sometimes. But really, we do have a choice. We can say they did so and so and that made me feel …… (fill in the blanks). Well no, actually they didn’t. Yes they did do so and so. But that’s where it ends. The next bit is up to us. Deep down I think we really do know this but sometimes it is hard to accept.

So. Just stop. Take a nice deep breath. Think about what just happened. Now with full awareness, how do you want to react? Do you just want the button response, or do you want to take control? Walk away if you have to. Count to 10. Do some tapping. Do whatever it takes to choose your response. There, that’s better isn’t it?

Here’s a little script that might just help you react better to your buttons being pushed.

Setup: Tap on the Karate Chop whilst repeating three times:

  • Even though {insert name} really pushes my buttons, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I hate just reacting to having my buttons pushed, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though it feels like {insert name} makes me feel {insert feeling}, I accept all of me anyway

Eyebrow: I hate it when my buttons are pushed
Side of Eye: I hate just reacting to my family/friend etc
Under Eye: I wish I could stop and think about it first
Under Nose: {insert name} makes me feel {insert feeling}
Under Chin: I hate feeling this way
Collarbone: I don’t want my buttons pushed in this way
Under Arm: I hate reacting and not thinking
Top of Head: I wish I could step back and take control of my feelings

Eyebrow: Maybe I can just stop
Side of Eye: What if I could take a deep breath first
Under Eye: I could just walk away and think about it
Under Nose: I have to remember I’m in control
Under Chin: Nobody can make me feel a certain way
Collarbone: Maybe I can decide how to react
Under Arm: What if I tapped and thought about things calmly
Top of Head: Maybe I can stay calm and decide what to say slowly

I hope this helps you choose how to react, rather than just automatically reacting and doing or saying something you may later regret. EFT is a wonderful tool to help us deal with our emotions. So next time someone pushes your buttons, try tapping on how you feel first, before responding.

If you can come from a place of calm, life will be so much easier. I’m all for that.

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