Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!

I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…

By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!

Feelings about feelings
Feelings about feelings

Pain & Suffering

Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.

So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.

Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.

  • Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
  • Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway

Keep Tapping

Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.

  • Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
  • Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
  • Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…

Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.

Keep tapping πŸ™‚

Louise

 

 

Merry Christmas 2017

Merry Christmas

My last post of this year is to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Thank you very much for reading my blog this year. If you would like me to address a topic please send me an email. I would love to hear from you.

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

Remember to look after yourself this Christmas! Self care is so important and we can’t keep giving to others without charging our own batteries. So please take some time out just for you. Even 5 minutes of tapping can help us when tensions run high if the family dynamics are challenging πŸ™‚

Merry Christmas and a very happy new year.

Best wishes,
Lou

 

Just Say No – Self Care Tips

We all struggle to say no sometimes. We can feel obliged to attend parties, meetings or visit our family. Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for our health and well-being. Yet, so many of struggle with it. Self care certainly isn’t easy when we are busy!

We may also suffer from “FOMO” or Fear Of Missing Out. I can definitely relate to that one when I was younger. I hated having to go to bed at a certain time and can remember sneaking out of bed during parties to try to see what was happening from the top of the stairs! At work FOMO can be especially tricky. We fear if we say no to overtime or extra work that we won’t be valued or that we’ll miss out on opportunities like promotion.

I talk a lot about self care with my clients because it is very important. Especially when they come to me with severe stress or anxiety and are burnt out. We aren’t taught how to look after ourselves, so it is something you have to experiment with. As the saying goes, you can’t fill from an empty cup!

Self care – empty cup

As an introvert I know I need quiet, alone time after being with people – even people I love! So I plan for that.

How Tapping Can Help

Tapping can help us maintain our boundaries and learn to say “no” more often (without feeling guilty!).

I recommend tapping on whatever the trigger is and the associated feelings e.g. guilt.

For example:

  • Even though I feel I should do X, I choose to look after my needs
  • Even though I feel obliged to attend every X meeting, maybe I can miss it now and then
  • Even though I always put everyone else first, maybe I can learn to take care of my needs too
  • Even though I feel it’s my duty to visit my Gran every week, what if it’s ok to miss it when I’m really busy

Then tap on the feelings that come up because you are choosing to do something different for a change, e.g.

  • Even though I feel guilty for having some me time, I know I need to look after me
  • Even though I feel guilty and ashamed for not visiting my Gran this week, I need some self care
  • Even though I feel so bad about not looking after X’s dog, I need to rest and recover my energy

It’s no good trying to enjoy a lovely soak in the bath with candles and soft music if your mind is churning with guilt! Tap on all the feelings associated with saying no or putting your needs first for a change.

Self Care List

I recommend to my clients that they come up with a list of self care things so that they can easily pick one when they really need it. I also recommend daily and weekly self care things so that they maintain their health and well being.

E.g.

  • Long soak in the bath
  • Reading a book
  • Watching your favourite TV show/film
  • Going for a massage or treatment
  • Eating a delicious meal
  • Yoga session
  • Doing something creative e.g. painting or crafting

Put your list somewhere you will see it on a daily basis and enjoy some self care.

Self care
Self care – soak in the bath

Let me know if you’d like some help with saying no or your self care πŸ™‚

Louise

How Long Should I Tap For?

It’s time for another FAQ…

How long should I tap for?

How long do I tap for?
How long should I tap for?

This is another question I get asked all the time by my clients. How long should I tap for? Again, there is no right or wrong answer for this. But there are guidelines. If you are going to tap on a serious, long standing issue then you definitely want to set aside at least an hour at a time to do the tapping. You also want to ensure that you don’t have to be anywhere important right after it.

If there is a chance that you will get upset then you definitely need the space for “resting” time afterwards. If I have worked on an upsetting issue then I find it helpful to spend some time quietly afterwards with a journal or I go for a walk where I can digest the session.Β  This is what I recommend to clients who work with me. It comes down to basic self care.

If it’s a “small” issue then you can tap for whatever time you have available e.g. 5 minutes before your meeting to calm you down and help you focus. Five minutes under those circumstances can make a big difference! If it is a long term thing you are working on then daily tapping is definitely recommended. 15-20 minutes of focussed tapping every day can work wonders to clear an issue.

My client sessions generally last an hour. Sometimes clients want to work for longer to clear an issue and that’s ok but I personally don’t recommend more than 2 hours at a time. I feel that is enough and that you need some time to let things settle before continuing.

So why not experiment and see what works best for you?

Keep tapping πŸ™‚

Louise

 

Wishing You A Merry Christmas 2016

Christmas
Merry Christmas 2016

Well, here it is – Christmas 2016. Wishing you a truly wonderful Christmas. I hope that you enjoy the time with your family and friends. I am looking forward to catching up with my family and friends and enjoying lots of quality time with my husband and step daughter.

Remember to tap if you start to feel overwhelmed. All you need to do is to focus on what it is that you are feeling. So if it is stress or overwhelm having too much to do then focus on that. Notice where in your body you feel that stress (e.g. tightness in your chest) and use that in your tapping, e.g.

  • Even though I feel so stressed and I still have so much to do, I choose to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel tightness and restriction in my chest when I think of all I still have to do for Christmas, I accept my feelings
  • Even though my chest is so tight and I’m so stressed because I still have too much to do, I accept this is how I feel right now

Keep tapping and tapping! You will probably need a few rounds of tapping and remember to keep changing the words as your feelings and body sensations change. Daily tapping might be helpful πŸ™‚

I also highly recommend getting away from everyone (even for 5 minutes) and doing some mindful meditation. Just focus on your breathing. Bring your awareness to your inhalation and your exhalation, noticing the full breath. Notice where you are holding any tension and breathe into that area. See if you can relax the tension on your out breath. Repeat as necessary!

Checkout my previous Christmas posts too:

How To Avoid The Christmas Overindulgence

Christmas Tapping

Tap Your Christmas Stress Away

Love & blessings,
Louise

Noticing Stress In Your Body

One of the things we can do to help our stress levels is becoming more aware of our stress. Noticing how our body responds when we start to feel stressed.

Stressed body
Stress in your body
  • Do you get a tightness in your neck and shoulders?
  • Do you find yourself clenching your jaw?
  • Maybe your digestion plays up
  • You start getting headaches
  • Or your throat becomes tight

Whatever it is, just observe it. Acknowledge it is there. Then when you have acknowledged it, try accepting it. You could do some tapping for this. For example:

  • Even though I feel my throat becoming tight, I acknowledge and accept that my body is trying to tell me I’m getting stressed
  • Even though my shoulders are getting tense, I know that means I’m starting to get stressed

Once you have acknowledged and accepted your stress showing up in your body, try thanking your body. E.g.

  • Even though I don’t like the feel of my tight neck and shoulder muscles, I’m grateful for my body and it letting me know I’m getting stressed
  • Even though my jaw is so tight it hurts, I’m grateful for the warning that I’m starting to get stressed

Then try to do something to help reduce your stress levels. I believe that we need to address what is causing our stress levels and also do something to counter that stress. So you could do a combination of working to reduce your task list / asking for help and do something to help you feel physically better. Whether that is some more EFT, Meditation, a walk in nature, a massage or long soak in the bath etc that is up to you.

Do whatever works best for you. If you don’t know, then it is time to start finding out… πŸ™‚

Your health and well-being deserve it!

Louise

You Give Me Road Rage…

Road Rage
Traffic jam – road rage or calm acceptance?

Have you ever had road rage? We can all get stressed when stuck in an unexpected traffic jam. But what if you find yourself getting angry and frustrated every time you get behind the wheel? If you have to drive a lot then this can become a big problem. Not only does it make your journey more difficult, it is causing unnecessary stress in your life.

Time to do some tapping…

Acknowledge how the anger/frustration and stress is getting to you when you drive:

  • Even though I get angry/frustrated every time I get behind the wheel…
  • Even though I seem to be getting stressed every time I drive lately…
  • Even though I seem to have road rage on every journey…
  • Even though I get angry and frustrated and shout and swear at other drivers…
  • Even though my stress levels are really high when driving…
  • Even though I seem to be angry and stressed whenever I drive lately…

Notice where you feel the emotions in your body:

  • Even though I have all this tension and knots in my shoulders when I’m driving…
  • Even though my jaw is clenched tight when I’m driving…
  • Even though my heart is beating fast and I feel so angry and frustrated behind the wheel…
  • Even though I feel hot and sweaty when I’m driving…

You will get better results when you are more specific. So it’s a good idea to tap on specific events from the past when you’ve been particularly angry/frustrated or stressed during a journey.Β  So tap on the time you had road rage when you were late for an important meeting or you missed your child’s performance in the school play.Β  Work on all the emotions that come up for you in these events, e.g. guilt, shame, embarrassment etc.

When you’ve worked on the most intense specific events, you should be less triggered in the future. So think about what you can do to help the situation on a practical level. Examples could be leaving earlier, going a different route, re-arranging your day so you don’t have to drive in rush hour traffic, car sharing/taking turns with someone. You may need to tap on those things too:

  • Even though I know I should leave earlier but I always seem to be running late…
  • Even though I know I should go a different route, I seem to be on auto-pilot in the mornings…
  • Even though I always seem to have to do all the driving…

Remember to tap any time that you are triggered. You can tap whilst driving, if safe to do so e.g. just tapping the finger points with your hand on the wheel or when you stop at traffic lights.

I hope that this helps your road rage to disappear!

Keep tapping
Louise

Do I Have To Speak Out Loud?

monkey-987886_1280

Another question I get asked a lot is:

Do I have to speak out loud when tapping?

In a session with a practitioner, we normally repeat the statements out loud when we tap. Many people find it a bit weird speaking out loud when they tap by themselves. The great thing is you don’t have to do it! EFT is a very flexible tool.

Here are some ways you can try to see which suits you best.

  • Tap silently – repeating your statements in your mind only
  • Write down your statements and tap whilst reading them

If you are ok with speaking out loud, you can try these versions:

  • Tap whilst whispering the statements
  • Try shouting out your statements (great if you’re stuck or need to really vent)
  • Sing your tapping statements
  • Use a silly voice – this works especially well if you’re tapping on something someone said – you can exaggerate their voice

Keep tapping (whichever way you decide to do it)
Louise

How Often Should I Tap?

calendar-1135273_1280

This is not an easy question to answer, but one I get asked all the time by my clients.

The answer very much depends on you. Think about the reason for tapping and how quickly you want results.

Personally, I tap every single day. Some days it’s just for 5 minutes. Other days it’s a whole hour if I’m doing a ‘proper’ session. Often, it’s somewhere in between.

  • If you have a long standing or chronic condition then I definitely recommend tapping every day.
  • If you want quick results then again I recommend tapping every day.
  • If you feel stressed every day then I definitely recommend tapping every day!

It is not always easy to find the time. You have to make the time.Β  Most of us can manage to find 5 minutes in our busy day. So start with that. Just 5 minutes. On days where you have more time then tap for longer. The more you tap, the more you’ll benefit. So get started πŸ™‚

Keep tapping
Louise

 

Overcome the Monday Blues

Monday Blues
Monday Blues

So it’s Monday again. Maybe you don’t like your job. Maybe you hate it.

Maybe you’ve just had a really good weekend and you don’t want it end.

Maybe you didn’t have a good weekend and you’d like a few more days at home.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all hated Mondays.

When I was younger I used to dread Mondays.Β  I would be filled with fear and dread about going back to school. Once I was there I was fine. But every Sunday for quite a while I would have the Monday blues.

If only I’d had EFT back then…things would’ve been a lot different.

So if this has rung true for you in any way, then it’s time to get tapping…

  • Even though I always get the Monday blues…
  • Even though I dread Mondays…
  • Even though I get the Monday blues on Sunday night…
  • Even though I hate my job and hate the thought of having to get up on Monday morning…
  • Even though I’m scared about going back to school on Monday…
  • Even though I hate the stress of Monday mornings…
  • Even though I hate Mondays…
  • Even though I wish I could skip Mondays…

You get the idea. Tap on whatever it is about Mondays that you don’t like or dread. Keep tapping until you feel better.

Sorry I can’t make Mondays disappear…hey EFT is good but not THAT good πŸ™‚

Drop me a line if you’d like some help on this or another issue. Until next time…

Keep tapping
Louise

3 Easy Ways to Change

Β β€œAny change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”

Arnold Bennett

Change is inevitable. Whether we like it or not, change will happen. We can either resist it, fear it or flow with it. The latter is much easier. But it is not always that easy to do.

Autumn colours changing
Autumn colours changing

We all resist change at certain times because it can be hard. Especially when it’s a change we don’t want.

So how do we flow with it more easily?

Firstly notice the resistance you feel about this change. Notice where you feel that resistance in your body and tap on that. E.g.

  • Even though I feel this dark churning resistance to change in my stomach, I accept myself and my feelings anyway
  • Even though I really want things to stay the same…
  • Even though I hate change and always resist it…

Secondly, tap on any fears you have about the change, e.g.

  • Even though my heart is pounding at the thought of this change, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel all this change fear in my chest, I choose to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel so scared about this change, I deeply & completely accept myself

Finally, once you have cleared your fears and resistance to change, tap on the possibility of this change being easy, e.g.

  • Even though I’ve feared and resisted this change, what if it will actually be ok
  • Even though I’ve dreaded this change, I’m open to the possibility of this change being easy
  • Even though I resisted this change, maybe it’ll be a good thing

Remember to keep tapping on each aspect – feeling, body sensation, thought etc. Always clear your resistance and fears first before tapping on the positive possibilities. If change has been a problem for you in the past then you probably need to tap on the memories of your past change experiences to clear them. The movie technique is a great way to do that.

β€œChange is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are, for what you could become.”

Keep tapping
Louise

How to have a Great New Start

September is the season of the new start. New season – officially it is now Autumn but it still feels like summer (yay!).

New school, new College or University. Maybe a new job or new relationship.

Whatever the ‘new’ is, there is often some trepidation or worry associated with it. There may even be downright fear! No matter – help is at hand (quite literally).

So how do you have the best start possible? Tap on any worries, concerns or fear that you have. Keep tapping on each aspect until you feel calm and excited about your new start.

Here’s some examples.

New school for the kids in your life:

  • Even though I’m scared of starting my new school, I’m still a good girl/boy/kid
  • Even though I won’t know anyone and I’ll feel scared talking to new kids, I’m ok
  • Even though I’m worried about finding my way around my new school, I’m going to be ok

New College/Uni:

  • Even though I’m not sure how I’m going to cope, living away from home for the first time, I’m ok
  • Even though I don’t know anyone & I don’t know how I’ll fit in, I choose to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I’m worried about living on my own for the first time, I’m sure I’ll be ok
New University
New University

New job/relationship:

  • Even though I’m worried I won’t know how to do the job and if I’ll fit in, I accept my feelings anyway
  • Even though I’m scared of not being good enough or experienced enough, I choose to stay calm anyway
  • Even though I feel nervous about this new relationship, I choose to relax & go with the flow

Remember, just keep tapping until you feel better.

Good luck with the new start – whatever it is πŸ™‚

Keep tapping
Louise

Inner Voice

Please stop for a minute. Just listen. Listen to your inner voice, your self talk.

What does it say? What tone does it speak in?
Is it speaking with kindness & compassion?
Or is it speaking with criticism and judgement?

Self talk
Self talk

It is very enlightening if we just stop once in a while and listen to our self talk. If you find yourself being critical and judgemental then try some tapping.

  • Even though I’m being judgemental…
  • Even though I’m critical of myself…
  • Even though I’m my own worst critic…
  • Even though my self talk is negative and judgemental…
  • Even though I’m not being a good friend to myself…
  • Even though I’m giving myself a really hard time…
  • Even thought I’d never speak to a friend in the way I speak to myself…

Once you have cleared out the negatives, try some positive choices, e.g.

  • I choose to treat myself with kindness & compassion…
  • I choose to treat myself like a good friend
  • I choose to be kinder to myself
  • I choose to be more compassionate with myself
  • I choose to treat myself with kindness
  • I choose to talk to myself in kind and loving ways

I hope you try this exercise from time to time and find it useful. I sure do whenever I do it.Β  Interestingly I have noticed my critical voice less and less and I notice it more quickly if it does pop up. In which case I tap and let it go πŸ™‚

Keep tapping
Louise

Feeling Emosh

Sometimes we feel rather emotional and don’t quite know why.Β  Usually it is a build up of different emotions and some little thing triggers us & sends us over the edge as it were.

Feeling Emotional
Emotional

If you don’t know why you’re feeling emotional then just tap anyway. It can either help stop the tears or let them flow out…either way you’ll feel better.

So next time you’re feeling emotional and don’t know why just start tapping and tune in to the feeling…you may have different emotions come up and you may know what they’re about. If you don’t know, just keep tapping anyway. It will help and if you tap for long enough you’ll probably get some good insights.Β  EFT is great like that.

We have this wonderful tool at our fingertips…we just need to remember to use it.

I’m here to help remind you of this amazing tool…

Keep tapping
Louise

Exam Stress

Yes, it’s that time of year again when exams and tests are upon us. Whether it is you going through it or your family, EFT can help you.

Exams
Exams

EFT works by calming down the stress response in our body and clearing any energy blockages. Even just imagining a future stressful event e.g. an exam can trigger our body to go into the stress response. Our adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol levels raise, our heart rate and respiration increase, our palms become sweaty etc.

So by tapping we can reduce this stress response in our body, allowing us to focus and concentrate better – just what you need in an exam right?Β  My recommendation is to tap a lot before the exam. You can do this by imagining sitting in the exam room and notice how you feel. Notice the response in your body.

Example:

If you feel nervous and have butterflies in your stomach & a tightness in your chest then use that.Β  Here’s what the tapping statements might look like:

  • Even though I feel nervous and have a tight chest and butterflies in my stomach when I think about doing my exam, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have a nervous feeling in my stomach as I imagine doing my exam, I choose to let that go
  • Even though I’m nervous and have a tight chest imagining doing my exam, what if it doesn’t have to be like that

Tap through the rounds using a combination of the key feelings and body sensations. Keep tapping and checking in with your bodily reactions.Β  These may move around your body and the sensations may change as you progress through the tapping rounds.Β  Keep chasing the sensations until they disappear. When you think you’re done, try to make yourself feel nervous/stressed to clear the issue as much as possible. Imagine the exam as vividly as possible. The idea is that you imagine all the scenarios during the exam, e.g. waiting to go into the room, sitting at your desk, being handed the exam paper, turning the exam paper over, looking around the room, seeing an examiner walk past, getting stuck on a question etc.Β  Then keep tapping until you can’t feel stressed or worried when you vividly imagine all the aspects or imagining the worst case scenario.

Once all those feelings are cleared you can then imagine feeling calm and doing well in your exam whilst you tap πŸ™‚

Remember you can always use the finger tapping points to very discreetly tap if you do feel nervous or can’t remember something when you’re actually doing your exam.

Keep tapping
Louise