Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!

I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…

By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!

Feelings about feelings
Feelings about feelings

Pain & Suffering

Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.

So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.

Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.

  • Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
  • Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway

Keep Tapping

Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.

  • Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
  • Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
  • Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…

Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.

Keep tapping 🙂




Who is Pushing Your Buttons?

That’s an interesting phrase isn’t it? Pushing our buttons. It is usually our family, children, friends or colleagues that push our buttons. We’re closer to them, we care about them more. We care what they think and feel. We have feelings for them…and in turn they can cause a reaction in us that others just can’t. 

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Well, let’s just stop there for a second. Who is driving our bus? We are. We’re in control remember? No-one can “make” us feel a certain way. It’s our choice how we feel and re-act. Yes really.

I know, I know, it’s hard to accept sometimes. But really, we do have a choice. We can say they did so and so and that made me feel …… (fill in the blanks). Well no, actually they didn’t. Yes they did do so and so. But that’s where it ends. The next bit is up to us. Deep down I think we really do know this but sometimes it is hard to accept.

So. Just stop. Take a nice deep breath. Think about what just happened. Now with full awareness, how do you want to react? Do you just want the button response, or do you want to take control? Walk away if you have to. Count to 10. Do some tapping. Do whatever it takes to choose your response. There, that’s better isn’t it?

Here’s a little script that might just help you react better to your buttons being pushed.

Setup: Tap on the Karate Chop whilst repeating three times:

  • Even though {insert name} really pushes my buttons, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I hate just reacting to having my buttons pushed, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though it feels like {insert name} makes me feel {insert feeling}, I accept all of me anyway

Eyebrow: I hate it when my buttons are pushed
Side of Eye: I hate just reacting to my family/friend etc
Under Eye: I wish I could stop and think about it first
Under Nose: {insert name} makes me feel {insert feeling}
Under Chin: I hate feeling this way
Collarbone: I don’t want my buttons pushed in this way
Under Arm: I hate reacting and not thinking
Top of Head: I wish I could step back and take control of my feelings

Eyebrow: Maybe I can just stop
Side of Eye: What if I could take a deep breath first
Under Eye: I could just walk away and think about it
Under Nose: I have to remember I’m in control
Under Chin: Nobody can make me feel a certain way
Collarbone: Maybe I can decide how to react
Under Arm: What if I tapped and thought about things calmly
Top of Head: Maybe I can stay calm and decide what to say slowly

I hope this helps you choose how to react, rather than just automatically reacting and doing or saying something you may later regret. EFT is a wonderful tool to help us deal with our emotions. So next time someone pushes your buttons, try tapping on how you feel first, before responding.

If you can come from a place of calm, life will be so much easier. I’m all for that.