Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!

I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…

By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!

Feelings about feelings
Feelings about feelings

Pain & Suffering

Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.

So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.

Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.

  • Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
  • Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway

Keep Tapping

Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.

  • Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
  • Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
  • Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…

Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.

Keep tapping ūüôā




Feeling Emosh

Sometimes we feel rather emotional and don’t quite know why.¬† Usually it is a build up of different emotions and some little thing triggers us & sends us over the edge as it were.

Feeling Emotional

If you don’t know why you’re feeling emotional then just tap anyway. It can either help stop the tears or let them flow out…either way you’ll feel better.

So next time you’re feeling emotional and don’t know why just start tapping and tune in to the feeling…you may have different emotions come up and you may know what they’re about. If you don’t know, just keep tapping anyway. It will help and if you tap for long enough you’ll probably get some good insights.¬† EFT is great like that.

We have this wonderful tool at our fingertips…we just need to remember to use it.

I’m here to help remind you of this amazing tool…

Keep tapping

Dealing with Negative Thoughts

Sometimes we have negative thoughts. We know we’re not “supposed” to have them. We can get upset when we have them, we judge them, judge ourselves, beat ourselves up and generally carry on the negative cycle some more. I have been doing some tapping on this lately. I found myself having lots of negative thoughts. I would create negative scenarios in my mind and image bad things happening. I recognised this was going on in myself and that I was judging and criticising myself too. Enough already!

So you guessed it – I tapped. I actually had help from my EFT buddy with this as I felt it was a “biggie” for me. So we tapped on:

  • The negative thoughts
  • Judgements
  • Criticism
  • Not “supposed” to have them

After awhile I could feel my body relax. I could feel more kindness towards myself. I could appreciate that part of me was trying to keep me safe. I realised that thinking these thoughts wasn’t all bad…feeling safe is important to me. If that helps me avoid dangerous situations that is a good thing.

I also realised I was creating choices for myself. I could choose how to react. I could acknowledge the negative thought, thank myself for thinking it and then let it go. I didn’t “have” to judge or criticise myself. I felt so much better after the tapping. Since then, the negative thoughts have decreased. I know that when they happen again I won’t be so hard on myself next time. ūüôā

Keep tapping

Allowing Yourself To Rant

I recently blogged about ranting. I felt like a rant today. So I took myself off on my walk in nature. This I find very restorative in itself. I added my finger tapping as I walked and then just ranted. I did this quietly in my mind as I was outside. But I didn’t hold back or stop myself – I just allowed all my rants out, tapping all the while. It felt so good ūüôā

So often we let our inner critic or judge stop us from letting all our thoughts and emotions out because we “shouldn’t think that” etc. This doesn’t help us let our emotions flow though.

Here’s some tapping ideas to help you let your emotions flow and have a good rant!

  • Even though I’m judging myself, I choose to let all my emotions flow anyway
  • Even though I criticise myself for having certain thoughts/emotions, what if I could accept them and let them flow
  • Even though I don’t allow myself to have a rant when I need to, I’m open to this changing
  • Even though I don’t allow my emotions to flow and judge them, I’m willing to let them flow

Rant away & keep tapping of course ūüôā


Let the tears flow

Sometimes we face challenges that really push our buttons. We feel like we can’t take any more. I’ve had a week like that. My exhaust breaking was the final straw. I was so upset I burst into tears. Normally something like that would have just upset me a bit, but due to other challenges that are going on right now it pushed me over the edge.

We often hold on to our tears because it isn’t appropriate to cry at work or in public. Or we don’t want to appear weak, emotional or too sensitive etc.

EFT can help us let our emotions and tears flow. Try tapping along to the following:

  • Even though I can’t let myself cry because….{fill in the rest}
  • Even though I’ll seem weak if I cry….
  • Even though I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop crying if I start…..
  • Even though they’ll think I’m so emotional if I cry….
  • Even though they think I’m too sensitive because I cry all the time…
  • Even though I’ll appear to be an emotional wreck if I cry again….
  • Even though men don’t cry….

I certainly felt much better after a good cry and some tapping. It is great to be able to let our emotions out and much healthier than trying to suppress or ignore them. EFT can help us allow our emotions to flow and not to become overwhelmed by them. It can help us accept and acknowledge our feelings and not judge them.

Keep tapping and letting your emotions flow
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We Need to Talk

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck and desperately wanting to be understood by your partner? Do you put off having “that talk” about your relationship, because you anticipate it will be difficult, uncomfortable or agonising!¬† Many of us don’t approach our partner because we think they will respond in a certain way. We anticipate their reaction, how they will feel and we think it’s just too difficult to deal with. So we don’t have that talk and bury our heads in the sand! Instead we go around seething, resenting, judging, getting angry, frustrated, sad and upset! Does that sound familiar?

EFT can’t change our partner but what it can help us with is our own judgements, thoughts, feelings and blockages that prevent us from approaching our partners and communicating with them in a calm way. It can also help us deal with the reaction we get if it’s not we want, expect or need.

Firstly try writing down exactly what it is you are feeling.  Then use what you have written down to come up with your tapping statements.  Below are some examples to help you get started:

  • Even though I keep putting off talking to my partner,¬†I accept my feelings about this
  • Even though I¬†can‚Äôt find the time to¬†talk to my partner properly,¬†I‚Äôm open to making the time
  • Even though talking about how I feel with {name} is so difficult, they just don’t understand me, I accept myself completely anyway
  • Even though {name} won’t understand what I’m trying to say, it’s just so difficult to talk with them, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
  • Even though {name} will get upset when we have this talk, what if they surprised me and really listened to what I have to say
  • Even though I’m scared of hurting {name} with what I have to say, I’m open to remaining calm and getting my points across anyway
  • Even though {name} can’t handle it when I get upset, I really need to talk about this
  • Even though I don’t know how to explain¬† how I feel and what I need from {name}, I’m open to letting it be easier than I think it will be

Next, tap your way through your list until you feel a shift (check your scores are all down to zero before you stop). Then try practicing “your talk” with your partner in your mind. Visualise how you both react. If there is anything that doesn’t go as you planned it, then keep tapping on the different aspects until you feel comfortable.

Whilst we cannot control how our partners will actually react, we will succeed in communicating a whole lot better if we are calm and in control of our emotions. If the talk doesn’t go as planned, then do some more tapping to help you deal with the situation.

Good luck with “that talk”.

Keep tapping!
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I Feel Worthless

With any problem we always try to get to the underlying core issue. There are a number of ways of getting there of course through questioning, deep listening and observing our client’s reactions e.g. strain in the voice, change of breathing, flushing of skin and the most obvious – a release of tears.

One of the core issues that often comes up is feeling worthless. You can address this by working on specific memories that made you feel worthless. You will probably need to address the events, situations and people who made you feel worthless too. For this I recommend the movie technique (see previous blog post). I also recommend working with an experienced Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner on core issues.

Below is a generic tapping script for feeling worthless.  Rate your score on a scale of 0 Р10 (10 is maximum intensity) before tapping.

  • Even though I feel really worthless, I’m open to accepting myself anyway
  • Even though I feel so worthless, nothing I do is ever right,¬†I’m ok
  • Even though I feel worthless, I don’t count, I never have, I accept all of my feelings anyway

Eyebrow: I feel really worthless
Side of Eye: I’m worthless
Under Eye: Nothing I ever do is right and it makes me feel I’m worthless
Under Nose: I can’t do anything right
Chin: I feel so worthless
Collarbone: I always get things wrong
Under Arm: Nothing I do or say is worth anything 
Top of Head: I was always told I’m worthless so I must be¬†

Eyebrow: I’m so worthless
Side of Eye: I never contribute anything worthwhile
Under Eye: I feel so worthless
Under Nose: No-one values me
Chin: I feel so worthless
Collarbone: I don’t value myself
Under Arm: I’m really worthless
Top of Head: I’ve felt worthless all of my life

Eyebrow: I’m open to changing this feeling today
Side of Eye: Maybe I can value myself
Under Eye: What if I am worth something
Under Nose: Letting it be safe for me to change this feeling
Chin: Maybe I can contribute value
Collarbone: I’m open to learning to value myself
Under Arm: Letting it be safe, easy and comfortable to value myself
Top of Head: Maybe I am worth something

Remember to keep tapping until this feeling of worthlessness has come down to 0. Use the movie technique to work on specific memories, situations and feelings that led to you feeling worthless. With core issues like this it is always best to work with an experienced EFT practitioner.

Keep on tapping
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How To Deal With The Unexpected

What do we do when we are delivered with the unexpected?

  • Kick up a fuss?
  • Run and hide?
  • Moan & groan?
  • Just get on with it?

Our reaction may differ depending on what the unexpected is.¬† I started reflecting on this on the weekend.¬† My first unexpected event was my friend’s visit cut short due to a family illness. There was nothing that could be done and I just accepted it. It was a shame they had to go but I completely understood.¬† So I suddenly had a weekend with no plans.¬† I thought great – quality time to spend with my boyfriend.¬† That was when unexpected event number two reared its head. I’d¬†developed a cold on the Friday and I started to feel worse as the Saturday wore on.¬† A lazy day around the house developed. I thought – I’ll feel better tomorrow and we can go off for a nice walk and lunch somewhere.¬† My body had other ideas.¬† On the Sunday I woke up with¬†ear ache. Something I’d never really had before.¬† As the day wore on my pain got so bad, I¬†was laughing¬†and crying and not sure what to do with myself.

I did a lot of EFT. It helped a bit but I had to take some pain killers and decongestants too. What I realise now is that I didn’t do any tapping on these unexpected things happening and how I felt about them.

How many times¬†do we react to these things that crop up unexpectedly and then don’t do anything to counter our¬†negative feelings? Emotional Freedom Techniques can be used on all of our negative emotions, feelings, experiences and much more!

So how do you start tapping on such an issue. Here’s a tapping script that will help you get started:

  • Even though {event} happened unexpectedly, I accept how I feel¬†about¬†this
  • Even¬†though I didn’t want {event} to happen and I didn’t expect things to¬†turn out this way, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I wish things had turned out how I expected them to, instead of {event} happening, I accept that¬†you can’t plan the unexpected!

Eyebrow: Things didn’t turn out how I planned them
Side of Eye: I wish {event} hadn’t happened
Under Eye:¬†I wish things didn’t have to change unexpectedly
Under Nose: I’m disappointed my plans changed
Under Chin: Why did that {event} have to happen?
Collarbone: I hate the unexpected
Under Arm: I don’t like my plans changing unexpectedly
Top of Head: Why did {event} have to happen like that?

Eyebrow: I hate it when the unexpected happens
Side of Eye: I don’t like things changing
Under Eye: I hate dealing with the unexpected
Under Nose: I feel out of control when the unexpected happens
Under Chin: Why did that have to happen?
Collarbone: I wish things had gone to plan
Under Arm: I didn’t want my plans to change
Top of Head: Why couldn’t things have gone as I expected them to

Eyebrow: I accept I can’t control everything
Side of Eye: Maybe I can deal with this easily
Under Eye: I can’t plan for the unexpected
Under Nose: It’s ok, maybe it happened for a reason
Under Chin: Maybe things have turned out for the best
Collarbone: What if I can just accept what has happened
Under Arm: I don’t have to be in control all the time
Top of Head: Maybe I can accept the unexpected

I hope that has given you an idea on how to start tapping for the unexpected. Use whatever feelings you have, whether they are disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness or guilt. Then tap on all of the associated feelings until you can easily accept what has happened.

We often can’t change things that happen to us and we can always change how we feel about it. We just need to take time to tap!