Feedback Not Failure

If someone gives you feedback, do you immediately feel you’ve failed in some way? Do you feel a failure if you haven’t done something perfectly?

Even if you receive constructive criticism do you feel a failure? Well here’s an alternative way to think of that feedback. It’s an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) presupposition:

“There is no failure, only feedback”

You have a choice as to how you handle your feedback and failures. You can remain stuck and give up, thinking you’re not good enough or you can learn the lessons presented, dust yourself off and try again.

As Albert Einstein said:

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

Everyone makes mistakes. The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is their ability to learn from their mistakes, adjust their behaviour/actions and try again. Each time you make a mistake you learn more about what you are trying to achieve and yourself.

Just think what would have happened if you had given up trying to walk the first time you fell over. You wouldn’t have gotten very far in life! So be like a child and just get up and try again.

Focussing on your failure keeps you stuck in the past and the problems. So focus on the results you’ve gotten and what you want to achieve. Now shift your focus to other possibilities and move forward.

Think about what you want to achieve, what you have achieved so far, what feedback you’ve  had, what you have learned, how you use your lessons in a positive way and how you will measure your success. Then dust yourself off and have another go!

Remember, the words of Elbert Hubbard:

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”

Go for it!
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How To Tap In The Good Stuff

How often do you end up focussed on the negative stuff in your life? 

Do you wish you had an easy way to focus on the positives instead?

You can easily use positive situations, events, memories etc to create a positive repository for those days when it seems everything is going wrong or the whole world is against you.

We have so many fleeting positive experiences and we just don’t acknowledge them or relish them, so they are lost.

This technique draws heavily on resource states from NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Dr Patricia Carrington (EFT Master) utilised NLP resource states and added tapping to create a very powerful technique.

I love using this technique – it is very easy and quick to do. It is wonderful to have a positive memory bank to tap into whenever you feel you need a bit more positivity in your life.

Here’s what to do:

Think of a positive situation, event, memory etc.  It could be eating lunch with your best friend, the time you won a 10k race, feeling a summer breeze whilst sat by a river. Now as you think of that positive memory, turn up the colours, make the pictures brighter, enhance the sounds and really feel those good feelings as if it were happening right now.

Now come up with a statement that sums up your experience, e.g. winning my 1st 10k race, gentle summer breeze caressing my face etc. Now use EFT to tap that experience in.  Tap through the points starting at the eyebrow:

Eyebrow: Winning my 1st 10k race
Side of eye: Winning my 1st 10k race
Under eye: Winning my 1st 10k race

Repeat until you finish at the top of your head.

This is now a powerful resource state you can use in the future. Any time you want to re-experience this lovely memory, just tap on the points starting at the eyebrow and repeat your statement, e.g. winning my 1st 10k race, finishing at the top of your head.

It can be really helpful to enhance this process even more by writing down your resource statements in a journal or on flash cards and carrying them with you. Any time you feel you need a boost, get out your journal/cards and tap in those wonderful positive experiences!

I hope you enjoy using Emotional Freedom Techniques in this way – I certainly do!

Keep tapping.
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Four Questions to Help Shift Your Perspective

Sometimes we are so close to our problem that we can’t figure out what is at the root of it.  We can’t “see the wood through the trees” as it were. We can only see our problem and we are stuck, with no solutions. In order for us to gain perspective, we need to approach the problem differently.  

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we have a useful tool based on quantum linguistics. Quantum linguistics is the powerful use of the language and listening skills. We listen to the temporal words and presuppositions people use to assist them toward positive thoughts and actions.  

Cartesian logic is an excellent tool to use to loosen the boundaries of someone’s thinking and to help shift their perspective and open up new possibilities for them. It is extremely useful to use when you have a decision to make.  

Mathematical cartesian logic is based on geometry:  

  • A,B = Theorem  
  • -A,B = Converse  
  • -A,-B = Non mirror image reverse
  • A,-B = Inverse  

Ok, scary maths bit over! How do we apply this in the real world?  

These four questions can be really useful in helping us shift our perspective, help us make a decision and reveal new possibilities to us.

  • What would happen if you did? (Theorem)  
  • What would happen if you didn’t? (Inverse) 
  • What wouldn’t happen if you did? (Converse)
  • What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t? (Non mirror image reverse)  

Yes I know they scramble your brain a bit…and that is the whole point! When we are locked in to our problem, all we can see is the problem. When we change perspective then we can begin to see solutions and possibilities.  

Lock and key

Try using the cartesian logic for a decision or problem you have and see what new possibilities and solutions  you can come up with – oh and have fun!

Louise Woods