Forget about the resolutions as most of us end up ditching them by mid January anyway! They can also induce feelings of inadequacy and guilt.
Instead, take some time to review your 2018 and plan for this year. Here are some suggestions for you:
What was the best thing about 2018?
What are you most proud of achieving in 2018?
What was your most important lesson of 2018?
What do you want to achieve the most in 2019?
What is your focus word for 2019?
What hobbies/activities do you want to do this year?
What self-care things will you do to look after yourself this year?
Set Your Goals
Using the answers from above, set your goals for the year. Then break them down into goals for the months and weeks ahead. Remember to regularly review your goals and break them down further if you’re not achieving them, or make them bigger if you are exceeding them 🙂
I hope that you have a great 2019. Do let me know if you’d like some help.
Many of us know the benefits of mindfulness but we have such busy lives that it feels like we never have enough time. If that sounds familiar then this meditation is for you. Most people can manage to find the time to practice this one. It’s called the Breathing Space meditation and it can be as short as just 3 minutes!
3 Minute Breathing Space
Firstly, make a conscious change to your posture. Sit upright with your back straight but not stiff. Close your eyes if that feels ok.
Ask yourself what’s going on in your mind and body right now?
What thoughts are present?
What feelings are here?
Become aware of any sensations in the body.
Don’t try to change anything. Just be aware of what is already here. Try not to judge anything, just bring your kind attention to whatever is here, right now.
Now, become aware of your breathing. Narrow your attention to just the sensations of your breathing.
See if you can feel your breath moving in your abdomen.
Try and notice the full inhalation and the full exhalation.
If your mind wanders (as it naturally will), just gently bring it back to your breath. Coming in and going out.
Finally, expand the focus of awareness now to take in your whole body. As if your whole body was breathing.
Become aware of your posture, any sensations on surface of your skin and deeper in your body.
Holding in awareness all the sensations in your body and breath just as they are.
Coming home to your body, coming home to this moment.
As best you can, bring this expanded awareness to the rest of your day.
Here’s my recorded version if you’d like to try it:
The Autumn Equinox this year happened on Sunday 23rd September at 2.54am (BST). This is of course in the Northern hemisphere. In the Southern hemisphere it was the Spring (or vernal) equinox. So it means that it’s officially Autumn now. Autumn is a time of transition, where the leaves change colour and fall. The days become equal with the night and the temperature starts to drop. It is a good time of year to see if you need to make any changes in your life too.
Autumn is one of my favourite times of the year and I was due to attend a Woodland Mindfulness retreat, but thanks to the storm it got cancelled. I was very disappointed as I had been looking forward to it for ages. However, I glad I wasn’t in a tent when the rain and wind were lashing against my windows over the weekend! I did some tapping to help myself deal with the disappointment and decided I didn’t just want it to be an ‘ordinary’ weekend, so I had a home retreat instead.
I went for a long walk on the Friday and was mindful of the gorgeous Autumn colours. I listened to the wind, the birds and insects as they went about their business. As I walked, I also tuned in to the felt senses of my body. Feeling my feet hitting the ground, the muscles of my legs moving and the beating of my heart. I brought mindful awareness to my thoughts and emotions as they arose. When I got home I spent time writing in my journal and doing some mindful colouring in. I did several meditations throughout the day and pampered myself a bit.
Yoga Nidra Day
On the Saturday I went to a Yoga day celebrating the Autumn equinox. We did some gentle yoga and a couple of yoga nidra sessions. Yoga nidra means sleep – a very relaxing type of meditation. We laid on our mats, with blankets under our heads, bolsters under our knees and wrapped ourselves in several warm blankets. Once we were warm and snuggly our lovely teacher Fiona led us on a journey through our body and into a deep state of relaxation. We dined on delicious vegan food and in the afternoon we braved the wind and rain and foraged for leaves, berries and plants to make a beautiful Mandala. I loved doing that and the finished Mandala looked gorgeous.
The day was very nurturing and insightful – just what I needed. It reminded me of the importance of self-care. This is a topic very dear to my heart and one I talk about a lot to my clients.
We cannot keep on keeping on without taking care of ourselves. Nature is starting to slow down, so I encourage you to take some time out and look after you this Autumn. Spend some time thinking about what changes you need to make in your life:
Do you need to slow down too?
Do you need to take care of yourself more?
Do you need to let go of something?
I would be happy to help you on your self-care journey. Do get in touch if you would like some help.
Eating mindfully is a great way to eat more healthily. Think about it. If you eat on the go, grabbing what is convenient and quick, you will often be eating unhealthily. If you eat quickly at your desk whilst working, you will definitely be eating non-mindfully. You will be more likely to overeat or eat unhealthy snacks when you’re not paying attention. You may even reach the end of the packet of crisps and realise you haven’t even tasted them!
Eating mindfully is an easy way to eat more healthily. Make some time to make yourself a healthy, nutritious lunch. Or if you are really pressed for time, grab yourself a ready made salad or sandwich. Spend some time choosing a healthier option.
If you can, get away from your desk (even if it’s just for 10 minutes). Take a deep breath before you begin. Open your lunch and just look at it. Notice all the different colours, shapes and textures. Breathe in again and notice the smells. You may now start to salivate. Notice how you feel about your lunch. Notice what is happening in your body. Is your stomach now anticipating your food?
Slowly bring your first bite/forkful towards your mouth. Take another breath before you place it in your mouth. Notice the sensations on your tongue and the sensations as you start to chew slowly. Chew for longer than you normally would and notice how your body feels as you swallow. Don’t start getting your next forkful ready until you have swallowed the first one. See if you can eat the whole of your lunch like this.
Be mindful of each forkful/bite if you can. Any time you notice that your mind has wandered, gently bring it back to your lunch. Notice the colours, shapes and textures again. Notice the taste and smell. Become aware of how your body is feeling. Notice how you feel emotionally.
If you can, wash up your dishes mindfully and try to bring your mindful awareness with you when you return back to your desk.
Try to practice eating this way at least once a week. If you can, be very mindful of the first bite or sip of each meal or drink that you have.
You may find that you start to make healthier choices when you are choosing/making your food.
This week has been Reiki Awareness Week. I have been posting every day on Facebook and Twitter to help spread the word about this fabulous technique.
I first came across Reiki over 15 years ago. I went to a spa for a bit of relaxation and pampering and thought I would just have massage and facial. However, one of the ladies there was offering Reiki (which I had never heard of). I decided to give it a go and loved it so much that I later trained to be a practitioner. The rest as they say is history!
I had the pleasure of attending a Reiki share on Tuesday to celebrate Reiki Awareness Week. This is where Reiki practitioners get together and swap sessions. There were 12 of us in the group and the energy in the room was amazing. We had 4 couches set up, which meant 4 groups of 3 people sharing Reiki at the same time. One person laid on the couch to receive, whilst the other 2 shared Reiki and then we swapped.
As a practitioner, I regularly give myself Reiki and practice the precepts etc. However, it was wonderful to just lie back and receive Reiki from other people. We also spent time sending out Reiki to people in need.
Reiki is very relaxing to receive and my clients often fall asleep during the session.
Reiki works on all levels, not just the physical and can help us emotionally, mentally and spiritually too. It can help our bodies to heal, boost our energy levels and increase our feeling of wellbeing. It is very helpful following an illness or operation. Regular Reiki helps boost our immune system, helping us stay healthy. It can also help us make better health choices too, by becoming more mindful and tuning in to what our body needs.
If you would like to learn more, checkout my Reiki page or get in touch to book your session now.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week this week. I think it is very important for us to talk about our mental health and for the stigma surrounding mental health problems to end.
This year the focus is on stress, something we all experience in life!
It’s ok to not be ok
It’s ok to ask for help
It’s ok to say you’re struggling
We all struggle with stress at some point in our life. We all need help from time to time. If we had a physical illness we would probably be ok with telling people and asking for help. With mental health it’s usually different and it’s time that changed.
We can all do our bit and be there for friends, family or colleagues when they need us. We can offer kindness and support. We can let people know that they are not alone.
There seems to be a culture nowadays where we are expected to be stressed or we feel we should say we are stressed. If we’re not stressed, we can feel guilty and take on extra things.
I would like the culture to develop where we don’t have to be stressed. Where taking care of ourselves is given a higher priority and never seen as selfish.
There are lots of things we can do to reduce our stress, e.g.
Meditation / Mindfulness
Reiki or other therapies
Getting enough sleep
When we are stressed though, we often feel we don’t have time for these things and we need to make the time in order to stop ourselves getting overwhelmed by stress.
I know from personal past experience just how bad stress and anxiety can feel. That is why I am so passionate now about helping people overcome stress and anxiety.
It’s good to talk, so if you’d like some help please get in touch.
We have all probably heard of mindfulness by now. So what are the real-life benefits of doing mindfulness?
I created the following image to show some of the benefits…
These are just some of the benefits of mindfulness meditation. Others include:
Greater zest for life
Decrease in cigarette, alcohol or drug abuse
Many people find it hard to find the time to meditate. You can begin to benefit from just 5 or 10 minutes a day, so even if you are very busy, you should be able to fit it in your day. It is better to practice consistently every day for just 5 or 10 minutes than once in a while doing a long practice (30 minutes plus).
Find a time of day that suits you – not everyone can do it first thing in the morning. You might find when you get home from work a good time – allowing you to transition from work mode into home mode. It is also important to find a posture that works for you too. You don’t have to be cross-legged on the floor. You could be sat in a chair or lying down if that is more comfortable. You can have your feet flat on the floor with your knees knocked in and just touching each other. You are less likely to fall asleep in this position and it is helpful if you have a bad back.
The simplest meditation is to focus on your breathing. Watching the full breath on the inhalation and on the exhalation. Any time you find your mind has wandered (and it will – repeatedly!) gently bring it back to your breathing. Notice where in your body you can feel your breath – your nostrils, the back of your throat or your belly rising and falling with each breath.
Why not give it a go?
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” – Dalai Lama
My step daughter was horse riding recently and her horse got spooked by a jump falling over in the wind. He jumped sideways and then did a mini buck and then she fell off. She handled it brilliantly and after her instructor checked that both her and the horse were ok, she got my step daughter straight back into the saddle for a gentle walk and trot. My step daughter and her horse were both ok and benefited from getting straight back on with it.
I was very proud of my step daughter and how she handled the situation. This got me thinking about how we handle a “fall”. This could be anything that is unexpected or making any kind of mistake. I remember years ago, learning on my NLP training that:
“There is no failure only feedback”.
This really helped transform how I dealt with making mistakes. In the past I really hated making mistakes and always felt really embarrassed by it. I’ll admit that I am a bit of a perfectionist! Now I realise it’s all part of the learning process and I feel much better about it. I have used both NLP and EFT to help me handle failure better.
Transformative Power of EFT
We can use EFT to help us too. For example, we can tap on how we feel about making mistakes or failing:
Even though I hate making mistakes, I’m ok
Even though I hate failing and have to do it right every time, I accept myself anyway
Even though feel like such a failure every time a make a mistake, I’m willing to be kinder to myself
Even though I feel like a failure if I fall or make a mistake, I choose to accept myself
It is also essential to work on specific events from our past and transform any negative emotions around them. This changes our default programming and opens us up to new possibilities.
I’d love to help you change how you feel about a “fall”. Do get in touch if you would like some help…
I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!
I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…
By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!
Pain & Suffering
Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.
So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.
Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.
Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway
Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.
Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…
Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.
Happy new year. Wishing you a year that is filled with joy, peace and love.
I hope that you have had a great Christmas. To start the new year off the right way, I recommend holding off on certain new year resolutions. We are mid winter and that is not a great time to start making changes to our diet or exercise regimes.
The days are still dark and short, it’s cold and wet and nature is hibernating. So tune in to nature and rest your body as much as it needs. Include lots of self care after the indulgence of Christmas. It’s easy to over-do it over Christmas so cut back on the over-indulgence and you’ll start to feel better.
Spring is a much easier time for us to start more exercise or change our diet. The earth starts to wake up with new life and our energy levels rise. So don’t go against the flow of nature and instead work with her.
So practice self care and look after yourself instead of beating yourself for not making lots of resolutions!
My last post of this year is to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Thank you very much for reading my blog this year. If you would like me to address a topic please send me an email. I would love to hear from you.
Remember to look after yourself this Christmas! Self care is so important and we can’t keep giving to others without charging our own batteries. So please take some time out just for you. Even 5 minutes of tapping can help us when tensions run high if the family dynamics are challenging 🙂
We all struggle to say no sometimes. We can feel obliged to attend parties, meetings or visit our family. Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for our health and well-being. Yet, so many of struggle with it. Self care certainly isn’t easy when we are busy!
We may also suffer from “FOMO” or Fear Of Missing Out. I can definitely relate to that one when I was younger. I hated having to go to bed at a certain time and can remember sneaking out of bed during parties to try to see what was happening from the top of the stairs! At work FOMO can be especially tricky. We fear if we say no to overtime or extra work that we won’t be valued or that we’ll miss out on opportunities like promotion.
I talk a lot about self care with my clients because it is very important. Especially when they come to me with severe stress or anxiety and are burnt out. We aren’t taught how to look after ourselves, so it is something you have to experiment with. As the saying goes, you can’t fill from an empty cup!
As an introvert I know I need quiet, alone time after being with people – even people I love! So I plan for that.
How Tapping Can Help
Tapping can help us maintain our boundaries and learn to say “no” more often (without feeling guilty!).
I recommend tapping on whatever the trigger is and the associated feelings e.g. guilt.
Even though I feel I should do X, I choose to look after my needs
Even though I feel obliged to attend every X meeting, maybe I can miss it now and then
Even though I always put everyone else first, maybe I can learn to take care of my needs too
Even though I feel it’s my duty to visit my Gran every week, what if it’s ok to miss it when I’m really busy
Then tap on the feelings that come up because you are choosing to do something different for a change, e.g.
Even though I feel guilty for having some me time, I know I need to look after me
Even though I feel guilty and ashamed for not visiting my Gran this week, I need some self care
Even though I feel so bad about not looking after X’s dog, I need to rest and recover my energy
It’s no good trying to enjoy a lovely soak in the bath with candles and soft music if your mind is churning with guilt! Tap on all the feelings associated with saying no or putting your needs first for a change.
Self Care List
I recommend to my clients that they come up with a list of self care things so that they can easily pick one when they really need it. I also recommend daily and weekly self care things so that they maintain their health and well being.
Long soak in the bath
Reading a book
Watching your favourite TV show/film
Going for a massage or treatment
Eating a delicious meal
Doing something creative e.g. painting or crafting
Put your list somewhere you will see it on a daily basis and enjoy some self care.
Let me know if you’d like some help with saying no or your self care 🙂
You know sometimes you need to stop the world and get off? This is what Reiki does for me. It allows me to relax completely. I feel like I am wrapped in a warm blanket, safe and protected from the world. As I feel my body sink into the couch and my muscles let go, my mind starts to let go too. My thoughts slow down and I feel like I have gotten out of the hamster wheel.
Reiki has many more benefits to offer. As well as being very relaxing and calming, it helps us to heal ourselves.
Reduces stress and anxiety
Enhances our well-being
Balances our emotions
Reiki is also complementary to orthodox treatments. It is perfect after surgery or procedures to help your body repair itself.
If you’ve recently been through a tough time, it is a great pick me up.
Lie Back and Relax
Reiki is usually received whilst you lay fully clothed on a massage couch. The practitioner will either place their hands on you or just above your body. Many people feel a warm sensation from the practitioners hands whilst receiving Reiki. I usually guide my clients at the beginning of the session to focus on their breathing and to let go of any tension. This helps them to let go and just be.
How Many Treatments
Even one Reiki session can make a difference. If you’ve been ill, had surgery or been very stressed, then regular treatments are recommended to bring you back into balance. After you have recovered, you may want to have a treatment once in a while to keep you on track and ensure your well being is maintained.
I would love to share the benefits of Reiki with you :). You can drop me an email and I will be happy to arrange your Reiki session.
Yay! It’s Autumn. One of my favourite times of year. It’s also the perfect time of year to be more mindful. I will share with you some tips on how to be more mindful at this time of year…
Mindful in Nature
Nature is putting on a spectacular show for us right now. So, time to tune in, slow down and appreciate the beauty around us.
Notice the amazing colours of the leaves as they transform. From yellow to orange to red to burgundy. The colours in Autumn are just incredible. I love to notice the transformation of certain trees that I see every day. One minute the leaves are all green and the next they are yellow or orange.
You can also walk mindfully amongst the fallen leaves. Remember when you were a kid and you used to walk through the leaves, kicking them up. Why not do that now? Listen to the rustle of the leaves, watch the colours and textures as they fall. Feel the crisp air on your skin and the wind blowing your hair.
Autumn is the start of the days getting shorter and the nights getting longer. I love to light candles in the evening and this is a great way to do a little mindful meditation.
Watch the flickering flame for awhile and then close your eyes. Picture the candle in your minds eye. If you can’t “see” it then open your eyes slightly so that you can just physically see the flame. Then bring your attention to your breath, watch the full breath coming and going. Focus on the candle in your minds eye whilst breathing calmly and deeply. Finish off by offering up your gratitude for the candle, the light and warmth of the flame and anything else you are grateful for in your life.
Autumn Mindful Eating
With the colder weather our minds turn to comforting and warming food. Soups, stews and casseroles are perfect at this time of year. You can be more mindful whilst preparing your food – lots of peeling and chopping to do! Be more mindful as you eat too – savour the smell, look, texture and taste – especially of your first bite.
“Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower”