We Need to Talk

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck and desperately wanting to be understood by your partner? Do you put off having “that talk” about your relationship, because you anticipate it will be difficult, uncomfortable or agonising!  Many of us don’t approach our partner because we think they will respond in a certain way. We anticipate their reaction, how they will feel and we think it’s just too difficult to deal with. So we don’t have that talk and bury our heads in the sand! Instead we go around seething, resenting, judging, getting angry, frustrated, sad and upset! Does that sound familiar?

EFT can’t change our partner but what it can help us with is our own judgements, thoughts, feelings and blockages that prevent us from approaching our partners and communicating with them in a calm way. It can also help us deal with the reaction we get if it’s not we want, expect or need.

Firstly try writing down exactly what it is you are feeling.  Then use what you have written down to come up with your tapping statements.  Below are some examples to help you get started:

  • Even though I keep putting off talking to my partner, I accept my feelings about this
  • Even though I can’t find the time to talk to my partner properly, I’m open to making the time
  • Even though talking about how I feel with {name} is so difficult, they just don’t understand me, I accept myself completely anyway
  • Even though {name} won’t understand what I’m trying to say, it’s just so difficult to talk with them, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
  • Even though {name} will get upset when we have this talk, what if they surprised me and really listened to what I have to say
  • Even though I’m scared of hurting {name} with what I have to say, I’m open to remaining calm and getting my points across anyway
  • Even though {name} can’t handle it when I get upset, I really need to talk about this
  • Even though I don’t know how to explain  how I feel and what I need from {name}, I’m open to letting it be easier than I think it will be

Next, tap your way through your list until you feel a shift (check your scores are all down to zero before you stop). Then try practicing “your talk” with your partner in your mind. Visualise how you both react. If there is anything that doesn’t go as you planned it, then keep tapping on the different aspects until you feel comfortable.

Whilst we cannot control how our partners will actually react, we will succeed in communicating a whole lot better if we are calm and in control of our emotions. If the talk doesn’t go as planned, then do some more tapping to help you deal with the situation.

Good luck with “that talk”.

Keep tapping!
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