Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!

I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…

By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!

Feelings about feelings
Feelings about feelings

Pain & Suffering

Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.

So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.

Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.

  • Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
  • Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway

Keep Tapping

Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.

  • Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
  • Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
  • Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…

Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.

Keep tapping 🙂

Louise

 

 

Working With Our Monkey Mind

Monkey Mind

Working with our monkey mind!

Monkey Mind
Monkey Mind

At times it can feel as if we have a monkey in our mind. We can feel out of control and our minds seem to have a mind of their own! Our thoughts jump from one topic to another to another. Our feelings can also bounce all over the place, leaving us feel unsettled. So what can we do when we feel the monkey has taken over?

Here I will discuss a couple of different options – EFT and Mindfulness.

EFT

EFT is a great tool for helping us deal with our emotions and what we are feeling. So tune in to how you feel – are you frustrated, annoyed, sad or angry? Whatever the feelings or emotions are you can use them in your tapping. Here’s an example:

  • Even though I’m annoyed that my monkey mind has taken over, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway
  • Even though it feels like there’s a monkey in my mind and I feel scared and out of control, I choose to accept all of me anyway
  • Even though I feel frustrated and angry that my monkey mind is out of control, I wonder if I can accept myself anyway

Then complete as many rounds as you need to reduce these feelings and emotions as close to a zero on the SUDS scale as you can (10 = maximum anger etc and 0=none).  You may need to do many rounds of tapping, depending on what is going on. Remember to be thorough and try to get to 0 if you can. Adjust the wording each round if necessary as you get closer and closer to the underlying cause of your monkey mind.

Mindfulness

It can be hard to meditate when you have a monkey in your mind. It’s important here to bring the qualities of kindness, compassion and non-judgement to your practice.

Quite often the harder we try, the more the monkey plays up! So go with it – don’t judge, just acknowledge the different thoughts and feelings as they come up. “Oh there goes my monkey mind again!”. Note what type of thoughts you’re having and name them e.g. “thinking, thinking”, “worrying, worrying”, “planning, planning”.

Then very gently, bring your mind back to your focus – e.g. your breath moving in and out of your belly. Or you may want to use a certain body anchor to focus on e.g. the stillness in your feet.

You may need to bring your mind back tens or hundreds of times – and that’s ok. Your mind will naturally wonder from time to time and sometimes the monkey will want to play more! Each time just bring a calm, kind acknowledgement to where it has been and bring it back to your anchor. Some days will be easier than others. Always remember to be kind and compassionate to yourself and your practice. You really are doing the best you can.

Combination

I have found it to be really helpful to do some tapping before I meditate. I tap to identify the source of my monkey mind first. After tapping several rounds I am usually calmer and more centred. I am then in a much better position to sit down and do my meditation. I then find that my mind is much less monkey like and able to stay focused on my breath or body anchor for my meditation.

I recently discovered this wonderful poem about our monkey mind by Kaveri Patel.

Thanking a Monkey

There’s a monkey in my mind
swinging on a trapeze,
reaching back to the past
or leaning into the future,
never standing still.

Sometimes I want to kill
that monkey, shoot it square
between the eyes so I won’t
have to think anymore
or feel the pain of worry.

But today I thanked her
and she jumped down
straight into my lap,
trapeze still swinging
as we sat still.

by Kaveri Patel
(http://www.wisdominwaves.com)

I hope that this has helped you work with your monkey mind 🙂

Louise

Will EFT Work On My X Issue Too?

Another question I frequently get asked by clients is: Will EFT Work On My X Issue Too?

FAQ - Will EFT work on my X issue?

Say a client has come to me for their stress and anxiety at work issue. They will often only think of using EFT on that issue. They won’t think to use this amazing tool on their fear of spiders issue or when they have an argument with their partner, or when they have a headache etc.

So my advice is always the same – just try it! When clients have resolved their original issue they often forget about EFT and don’t think to use it on other things that come up in their life. I always aim to teach my clients that this amazing tool is theirs – it’s at their fingertips.

Most people need a reminder from time to time though. So my advice is to do some tapping on a daily basis so that it becomes a good habit. That way we don’t have to think about it – we automatically start doing it in times of need. EFT becomes their ‘go to’ self help tool.

Here’s some ways I’ve used EFT this week to give you an idea:

  • Daily affirmations (remember to get rid of your “yes buts” first before working with affirmations)
  • Stuck behind a slow moving lorry when running late
  • Feeling stressed when trying to multi task too many things at once
  • Tight and painful shoulders (as a result of previous point!)
  • After hearing some upsetting news from a friend

EFT has helped me so much in so many ways. My aim is to educate and spread the word about this amazing tool so that you can benefit from it too.

So, why not try making EFT a part of your daily self care? That way, you will think of using it for your X issue 🙂

Keep tapping
Email Louise

Mental Health Awareness Week

MHAW-round-stickerm-png-300x300

This week has been mental health awareness week in the UK. I was very pleased to do a presentation on Monday at the RSPB in Exeter.

I spoke about stress – what it is and how it affects us. I introduced the staff to a short Mindfulness meditation that can even be done at your desk at work. I also demonstrated EFT and how that can be used to help with stress at work and helping you achieve a better work/life balance. Which is something most people can relate to.

There are many tools out there can be very helpful for our mental health. For more info on EFT checkout my website http://freeflowingenergy.com/eft/. There’s also a great deal of helpful info at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

EFT and Mindfulness are two tools that help keep me on an even keel. I wouldn’t be without them now. Having suffered from stress and anxiety in my previous career as a Software Engineer, I know from first hand experience how horrible it can be. Fortunately I now have the pleasure of teaching these amazing tools to other people.

Here’s to your health & well being!
Louise

 

 

Dealing with Disappointment

Disappointment
Disappointment

We’ve all experienced disappointment at some point in our lives. You may feel disappointed with the results of the recent UK General Election! It’s not something we can avoid. But how can we deal with it?

A recent client came to me feeling very disappointed about a situation at work. She was losing a new employee to another job. She had spent quite a bit of money and a lot of time and effort recruiting and subsequently training the new person and was very disappointed they would soon be leaving!

I always recommend by starting with acknowledging fully how you feel. So vent e.g.

  • Even though I’m so disappointed that I’m losing X, I accept my feelings anyway
  • Even though I’ve wasted so much money & effort training X and I’m going to have to do it all again…
  • Even though I’m so annoyed and disappointed and frustrated I’m losing X…

Once you have got all those feelings cleared then it’s time to ask yourself some questions.

  • What have you learnt?
  • What would you do differently next time?
  • What would you skip?
  • Is there someone who can help you?
  • What can you refine about the process?

Spend a bit of time actually writing down your answers.

We can’t always avoid disappointment, but we can use EFT to help us handle the emotions. If we’ve learnt something or can do something different next time then our experience hasn’t been wasted!

Drop me an email if you’d like some help. I offer face to face sessions in Devon & Skype sessions Worldwide.

Keep tapping
Louise

Feeling Emosh

Sometimes we feel rather emotional and don’t quite know why.  Usually it is a build up of different emotions and some little thing triggers us & sends us over the edge as it were.

Feeling Emotional
Emotional

If you don’t know why you’re feeling emotional then just tap anyway. It can either help stop the tears or let them flow out…either way you’ll feel better.

So next time you’re feeling emotional and don’t know why just start tapping and tune in to the feeling…you may have different emotions come up and you may know what they’re about. If you don’t know, just keep tapping anyway. It will help and if you tap for long enough you’ll probably get some good insights.  EFT is great like that.

We have this wonderful tool at our fingertips…we just need to remember to use it.

I’m here to help remind you of this amazing tool…

Keep tapping
Louise

Knowing Me

“Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force;

Mastering the self needs strength”   — Lao Tzu

 

So how do we know ourselves better? By exploring our thoughts, our emotions/feelings, our beliefs and our bodies.

All we have to do is listen. Sometimes it isn’t easy. And that is where Tapping comes into its own.

I have found that tapping gently on myself whilst I truly listen is very rewarding. I get to know myself better. I learn what makes me tick – the way I think, what triggers my feelings etc.

I may learn things I don’t like. That’s ok because I can tap and accept whatever comes up.  E.g. Even though I don’t like it when I think {X}, I choose to love and accept myself anyway

I can question my beliefs and see if they are serving me or if they are just remnants from my past. With EFT I can get rid of those beliefs that no longer serve me.

With EFT I can be really gentle getting to know myself better. The more I tap the more I learn about myself.

Let me know if you’d like some help getting to know yourself.

Keep tapping
Louise

 

Releasing the Past

We know that working on specific events is the most effective and thorough way to get results with EFT. If something is bothering you in the present it is highly likely that there are specific events from your past that you need to clear. Working with EFT is a very effective and gentle way of releasing yourself from the burden of your past.

Release past
Release your past

You could have current beliefs that you formed as a child that no longer serve you. For example, you wouldn’t ask an 8-year-old for advice on money but you probably have beliefs about money that were formed when you were that age or even younger. You might have grown up in a household where money was tight and you learned things like “money is hard to come by” or “rich people are greedy” etc.

So next time something is bothering you, ask yourself what it reminds you of. Try to recall some times in the past when you felt the same way or similar events happened. Then use the Movie technique or tell the story to clear out those old events and release your past. Once you’ve cleared these specific events from your past you will find the present situation no longer bothers you. If it still does, do some more digging and see if there are other past events you need to clear or do some tapping on your current situation.

EFT is a wonderful tool to help us release our past and get rid of beliefs that no longer serve us.

“You have to know the past to understand the present.” —  Dr. Carl Sagan

Keep tapping
Louise

Many Paths to Healing

People often say they don’t know where to start when working with their issues. They don’t know what to say or feel so overwhelmed that they can’t even begin. Well firstly you can tap for your overwhelm and I’ve written about this before. There are no “right” words and again I’ve addressed that subject previously.  What I want to emphasise today is that we never really know where we’re going to go when we start tapping. We can start on one issue and it can lead us somewhere entirely different.  There are many paths or doorways to our healing.

This happened to me today. I started tapping on one issue and it led me somewhere entirely different. It never ceases to amaze me when this happens 🙂  I love it when we just organically follow where the tapping takes us. I learnt new insights and found new things to tap on. Great! It all helps me on my healing journey. So don’t worry about where to start or what words to use. Just start tapping and follow where it leads.

Paths to healing
Paths to healing

Keep tapping
Louise

Tapping World Summit 2014 – Register Now!

Tapping World Summit 2014
3 good reasons why you DO NOT want to miss this…

I want to make sure you know about something really special that is taking place on February 24th.  And I want to make sure to share some details about it that you might not know…

Before I get to that though, make sure to write down the date and time so you don’t forget:

February 24th at 8PM ET

You see, at this specific date and time, there is a free online event taking place that will dramatically change your life.  During this event you’ll be guided through the application of a technique that delivers such tremendous results, and so quickly, that it falls into the “I can’t believe this works so well” category.

The technique is EFT, or Tapping, and if you’ve been paying attention to all the buzz lately around
the 2014 Tapping World Summit — the 6th annual event —  you’re probably curious to learn more about it…

I highly recommend checking out the page below to learn all about it, and about why you need to attend this massive free online event (over 500,000 people attended last year alone!).  The event starts on February 24th but there are a full 10 days of life-altering presentations…

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5215588

Here are 3 good reasons why you DO NOT want to miss this online event:

1 – This event is an experience, not just an event with information.  Attendees don’t just leave with ideas or theories on how to make their life better, they leave actually feeling better.

They leave with less stress, anxiety, overwhelm, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions.  They leave having cleared limiting beliefs around money, health, relationships and more.  They leave having cleared childhood traumas.  They leave the event better than when they went in.  You, yes YOU,…will leave this event better than when you enter it.

This event has been going on for 6 years.  It has a reputation for getting results for attendees, year after year after year.  🙂

2 – This event is 100% content, no products are pitched.  Don’t expect any sales pitches during these presentations, because you won’t get any.  Every one of the 23 presentations, that you can listen to in their entirety, are 100% content only.

3 – This event is free.  If you’re given the opportunity to attend an event that is 100% content, that has a proven track record of getting people results during the 10-days of the event, that uses a technique that has been scientifically proven to get results and is supported by the world’s leading personal development experts, medical doctors, and psychologists, and it’s all free…why wouldn’t you give it a chance?

There is literally nothing to lose.  Sign up for it and if you don’t like the event (which I highly doubt will happen), just unsubscribe from the event and you won’t hear about it again.  But why not give it a chance?  It seems like there are only positives and no negatives that could come out of the opportunity…

Go here to learn more and sign up:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5215588

Trust me on this one…this technique and this event is truly amazing.

P.S. – If you want to see what some of the experts that I mentioned above have to say about this event, about EFT Tapping, and about Nick Ortner, the host of the event you can see that on this page:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5215588

You’ll get to hear from experts like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Kris Carr, Dr. Joseph Mercola, Jack Canfield, Jennifer McLean, Cheryl Richardson, Arielle Ford, Joe Vitale and many others…

Keep tapping
Louise

“My dad said he wished I’d never been born!”

“I wish you’d never been born!”  Those were the words that Bobbie heard from her father at her 5th birthday party, in front of her friends.  They were just a few of the painful words she had to hear through the years from her father.  This particular event was one of the most painful and traumatic that she had to deal with growing up, and one that continued to cause her pain decades later.

I want to share Bobbie’s story with you in a powerful and extremely moving video, where Bobbie works with Nick Ortner — NY Times best-selling author of “The Tapping Solution” and producer of the upcoming 6th annual Tapping World Summit — on stage at a live event, and I’ll tell you why…

In the video you’ll get to see her use EFT Tapping, one of the most effective techniques I’ve ever seen used for personal change and growth, and see her go through an emotional and physical transformation right before your eyes.

Most importantly, I want you to see how you can use this same technique to change your life.

This is the 3rd video in the pre-event series that they’ve just released.  The other two were interviews with Dr. Wayne Dyer and with Dr. Lissa Rankin (both of which are great videos – you can get access to those as well if you’re interested.)

Trust me when I tell you that you’re going to be glued to this video!  Just watch the first couple of minutes and you’ll see what I mean:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5210020

Let me explain more on why this video is life-changing…

All of us have dealt with childhood traumas, little or big events where we felt hurt, upset, scared, angry or any other painful emotion.  And many of these events, whether we realize it or not, continue to affect us today, in our beliefs, our level of confidence, the emotions we feel and so much more.

Take a second to think back on your childhood. What event or events come to mind where you felt hurt, upset, scared, angry or any other negative emotion?  When you think back on these events, how do you think they’ve affected you today?

This video will show you just how easily and quickly you can take the negative charge off of those memories and how you can release the conscious and unconscious holds that they have on you.

One thing that’s especially interesting about this video is that it was filmed during a live event that is focused on the connection between our emotions and physical pain .  During the video, you’ll actually get to see Bobbie get rid of the pain in her knees, something that she hasn’t had happen in 25 years!

Check it out:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5210020

P.S. – And if you want to learn more about how you can use EFT Tapping, the way that Bobbie does in the video, you’ll also be able to get access to the free, 10-day event known as the 6th annual Tapping World Summit.  Just go here to learn more:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5210020

Keep tapping
Louise

Do you struggle with Forgiveness?

Wayne Dyer was angry, and with good reason…

At the age of 34 Wayne Dyer drove to Biloxi, Mississippi to visit the grave of his father, an alcoholic and abusive man who had abandoned him, his mother and two brothers the day he was born.

Although he had died 10 years earlier, Wayne had only just found out about his death.

He drove to the grave that day with a level of anger so great, so deep from years of hurt built up, that he went there with two tasks in mind:  To find out if it was even acknowledged on his death certificate that Wayne was his son, and to literally “pee” on the grave of the father that he held all this hatred, anger and resentment towards for 34 years.

What came out of that visit however, completely and forever changed his life. It is one of the most beautiful stories you’ll ever hear.  It shares a message of forgiveness and it’s power to transform that I think is truly life-changing and worth your time to listen to.

He tells this story, and much more, in this exclusive interview with Nick Ortner, conducted for the upcoming 6th annual Tapping World Summit, which starts on February 24th:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5201461

If you had been in Wayne’s shoes, would you have been able to forgive?

Who do you have in YOUR life that you need to forgive?  How would it change your life to forgive and release any anger, resentment, hatred or other negative emotions that you carry, towards BOTH others as well as yourself? (Don’t forget the forgiving yourself part!)

Most people today know Wayne Dyer for his best-selling books (having sold literally hundreds of millions of copies), his Public Broadcasting Station television specials, and his heart-warming and thought-provoking talks…

But do not know that up to that point in his life when he visited his father’s grave, he was overweight, drinking heavily, and was as he describes himself, “Basically on an involuntary suicide mission.”

But he was able to radically transform, through the power of forgiveness, and in this video, as well as the upcoming 6th annual Tapping World Summit, you’ll learn how to do the same, to radically improve the quality of your own life.

I hope you take a few minutes to watch this video, and I highly recommend attending the 10 day Tapping World Summit, which begins on February 24th.  This event has had over a million people attend it over the last 5 years.  It is a huge, life-changing, no-cost event.

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5201461

I’ll see you there!

P.S. – One of my favorite parts of the videos is Wayne’s “plane story” where he came out of the bathroom on a plane covered in sweat from head to toe.  It’s hilarious and will having you laughing out loud.  It’s at about 20 minutes.  Make sure to check it out:

http://thetappingsolution.com/cmd.php?Clk=5201461

Here are my top tips for working on forgiveness with EFT:

  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are condoning the thing the person did – you are just letting it go
  • Tap on the event first before working on forgiveness – especially important if it was a trauma
  • Clear the event so that you can recall it fully with no effect (Try the movie technique)
  • Tap on any anger, frustration etc until it is a zero
  • Tap on how hard it is to forgive
  • Try tapping “Even though I don’t want to forgive…” or “Even though they {Name} don’t deserve forgiveness…”
  • Tap on forgiving yourself (this is important and we often don’t think about forgiving ourselves).

It’s best to work with an experienced EFT practitioner for trauma/deeply upsetting emotions/feelings/memories etc. They will hold the space for you, support you, gently guide you and keep you on track.

Keep tapping
Louise

Tapping In The Mirror

Tapping by ourselves can be difficult.  It can be tricky to get past our inner protector and bypass our resistance of “not going where we need to”. So how do we get around that? Well one idea that works for me is to sit in front of a mirror and tap. Just doing this, looking at ourselves deeply can bring issues to the surface. Tap on what comes up.

Mirror
Tap in the mirror

Another approach is to use the reflection as the Therapist and the real you as the Client. Have your Therapist ask your Client what the issue is or what is holding you back from working on it? What is the benefit of keeping this issue? What is the downside of letting it go?

Working on our identity or self image issues is quite profound using this technique. What is it that you see? What don’t you like about your body? Which parts do you wish you could change? All of these ideas can help us when we are stuck.

Of course you can always find an experienced EFT Practitioner like me to work with. But if that’s not possible then mirror tapping can be a great help.

Keep tapping
Louise

World Mental Health Day

It was World Mental Health Day yesterday, 10th October. I was tweeting and posting on my Facebook page about it. I thought I’d write a blog post too, to help raise awareness.

There is still a lot of stigma attached to mental health issues, yet 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem in any given year (1).

For many people they are too scared of admitting a problem for fear of the consequences (e.g. at work) or the lack of understanding (“just pull yourself together” – it only it was that easy!).

So please, know that you are not alone.

There is plenty of help available.

It will get better if you seek and are willing to accept help.

In the first instance, it is advisable to contact your GP. They can diagnose and advise.

EFT is very effective at helping with stress and anxiety and even depression.

For more info, check out the following websites:

Mind

Mental Health Foundation

The more we talk about it the less stigma there will be! I used EFT to help me overcome my anxiety. I use it to help me manage my stress levels. I use it daily for my physical, emotional and mental well-being. I wouldn’t be without this incredible tool now.

Keep tapping
Louise

(1) Mind – Mental Health Facts and Statistics – http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/8105_mental_health_facts_and_statistics

Dealing with Negative Thoughts

Sometimes we have negative thoughts. We know we’re not “supposed” to have them. We can get upset when we have them, we judge them, judge ourselves, beat ourselves up and generally carry on the negative cycle some more. I have been doing some tapping on this lately. I found myself having lots of negative thoughts. I would create negative scenarios in my mind and image bad things happening. I recognised this was going on in myself and that I was judging and criticising myself too. Enough already!

So you guessed it – I tapped. I actually had help from my EFT buddy with this as I felt it was a “biggie” for me. So we tapped on:

  • The negative thoughts
  • Judgements
  • Criticism
  • Not “supposed” to have them

After awhile I could feel my body relax. I could feel more kindness towards myself. I could appreciate that part of me was trying to keep me safe. I realised that thinking these thoughts wasn’t all bad…feeling safe is important to me. If that helps me avoid dangerous situations that is a good thing.

I also realised I was creating choices for myself. I could choose how to react. I could acknowledge the negative thought, thank myself for thinking it and then let it go. I didn’t “have” to judge or criticise myself. I felt so much better after the tapping. Since then, the negative thoughts have decreased. I know that when they happen again I won’t be so hard on myself next time. 🙂

Keep tapping
Louise
louise@freeflowingenergy.co.uk