Connection Frustration

I am sure I am not alone in feeling even more frustrated with this lockdown. For a start it is out of sync with Wales, which means my family and friends there are now out of lockdown whilst here in England we have a few weeks to go. I am so missing the connection with my family and friends.

I have found that EFT or Tapping has really helped me vent my frustration and come to terms with all my emotions.

My tapping setup statements went like this…

  • Even though I’m really frustrated we’re locked down again, I accept my feelings anyway
  • Even though I really miss my family, I love and accept myself anyway
  • Even though I am frustrated I can’t see my family and they are now free again, I acknowledge and accept all my emotions
  • Even though I am desperate to see my family and really hope our lockdown doesn’t drag on longer, I accept all my feelings

Tune in to your feelings and tweak your setup statements to suit. Keep tapping until you feel better. You may need to repeat the tapping for many rounds.

After tapping I always feel much calmer and much less frustrated.

Lessons Learnt

What the lockdowns have taught me is that it is the connection with friends and family that I really miss the most. Yes I would love to be able to go out for a meal or a coffee too but it’s the not being able to see people that bothers me the most.

Whilst I am grateful for Zoom and social media it is not the same as seeing people face to face. But it is better than nothing at the moment.

I am continuing to tap regularly and making time to do lots of self care. I am so grateful to get out walking in nature and to be reminded to let go by the trees! 🙂

Connection Frustration

Stay safe.

Feelings About Feelings

Feelings About Feelings

I was working with a client recently and the tapping didn’t seem to be working. We were tapping on various different emotions and the associated sensations in her body. We tapped several rounds focusing on the body sensations and the different emotions in turn. She was frustrated with herself for having these various emotions and not being able to get rid of them!

I suggested we take a step back and work on the frustration first. That did the trick…

By focusing on the feelings we have about the feelings (or the emotions about having the emotions) we had a break through!

Feelings about feelings
Feelings about feelings

Pain & Suffering

Often when we have pain we have a lot of feelings or emotions about that pain. That is suffering. Our pain feels worse because we have all these feelings or emotions about having the pain. We don’t need to suffer additionally when we have pain. We can tap on our feelings and emotions about having the pain.

So always make sure you tap on your feelings or emotions about having the other feelings or emotions.

Say you are angry at someone because they did something to upset you. You can start by tapping on your anger, but you may also be feeling frustrated or guilty about feeling angry. So tap on the feelings about the feelings as well. E.g.

  • Even though I feel frustrated about feeling angry at Bob when he really upset me, I accept all these feelings
  • Even though I feel guilty because Bob upset me and made me angry, I accept all of my feelings
  • Even though I feel frustrated that I got so angry when Bob upset me, I acknowledge and accept myself anyway

Keep Tapping

Be observant and notice how your feelings about having your feelings change. Once you have cleared the feelings about the feelings, start tapping on the feelings. E.g.

  • Even though Bob upset me and I got angry, I accept all my feelings
  • Even though I feel angry because Bob upset me when he did X, I acknowledge and accept myself
  • Even though I feel this angry knot of tension in my gut when I think about what Bob did…

Remember, to be as specific as possible for best results when tapping.

Keep tapping 🙂




You Give Me Road Rage…

Road Rage
Traffic jam – road rage or calm acceptance?

Have you ever had road rage? We can all get stressed when stuck in an unexpected traffic jam. But what if you find yourself getting angry and frustrated every time you get behind the wheel? If you have to drive a lot then this can become a big problem. Not only does it make your journey more difficult, it is causing unnecessary stress in your life.

Time to do some tapping…

Acknowledge how the anger/frustration and stress is getting to you when you drive:

  • Even though I get angry/frustrated every time I get behind the wheel…
  • Even though I seem to be getting stressed every time I drive lately…
  • Even though I seem to have road rage on every journey…
  • Even though I get angry and frustrated and shout and swear at other drivers…
  • Even though my stress levels are really high when driving…
  • Even though I seem to be angry and stressed whenever I drive lately…

Notice where you feel the emotions in your body:

  • Even though I have all this tension and knots in my shoulders when I’m driving…
  • Even though my jaw is clenched tight when I’m driving…
  • Even though my heart is beating fast and I feel so angry and frustrated behind the wheel…
  • Even though I feel hot and sweaty when I’m driving…

You will get better results when you are more specific. So it’s a good idea to tap on specific events from the past when you’ve been particularly angry/frustrated or stressed during a journey.  So tap on the time you had road rage when you were late for an important meeting or you missed your child’s performance in the school play.  Work on all the emotions that come up for you in these events, e.g. guilt, shame, embarrassment etc.

When you’ve worked on the most intense specific events, you should be less triggered in the future. So think about what you can do to help the situation on a practical level. Examples could be leaving earlier, going a different route, re-arranging your day so you don’t have to drive in rush hour traffic, car sharing/taking turns with someone. You may need to tap on those things too:

  • Even though I know I should leave earlier but I always seem to be running late…
  • Even though I know I should go a different route, I seem to be on auto-pilot in the mornings…
  • Even though I always seem to have to do all the driving…

Remember to tap any time that you are triggered. You can tap whilst driving, if safe to do so e.g. just tapping the finger points with your hand on the wheel or when you stop at traffic lights.

I hope that this helps your road rage to disappear!

Keep tapping

What Pain is Trying to Tell You


What is your first reaction when you feel ill or feel pain?

Do you feel frustrated, sad, annoyed, angry or something else?

Your body is actually trying to tell you something. It could be telling you to:

  • Look after yourself (when was the last time you did that?)
  • Slow down
  • Exercise more (or less)
  • Eat better
  • Drink less alcohol
  • Say no more often
  • Reduce your stress etc.

So, how do you find out what the message is?

You need to listen.


I suggest you set aside some time and firstly tap on any emotions you feel about being ill or in pain. E.g.

  • Even though I feel really frustrated that I’ve got a pain in my guts…
  • Even though this stomach pain is killing me, I can’t let it stop me working…
  • Even though I’m angry my body has this burning stomach pain…

Tap on whatever emotions come up and keep going until you feel ok or you feel ready to listen to what the message is.

Then you can try tapping on being willing to listen and understand what your body needs.  E.g.

  • Thank you body for this message
  • I’m willing to listen to my body
  • I’m open to listening to what my body needs
  • I’m sorry I haven’t been listening
  • Sorry I’ve been too busy to care for my body
  • I love & appreciate my body

I have done this work with clients and they always find it very helpful. Many have ‘light bulb’ moments where they realise what has been going on and how their body is trying to help them.

Do drop me an email, if you’d like some help with this.

Keep tapping


Feeling Emosh

Sometimes we feel rather emotional and don’t quite know why.  Usually it is a build up of different emotions and some little thing triggers us & sends us over the edge as it were.

Feeling Emotional

If you don’t know why you’re feeling emotional then just tap anyway. It can either help stop the tears or let them flow out…either way you’ll feel better.

So next time you’re feeling emotional and don’t know why just start tapping and tune in to the feeling…you may have different emotions come up and you may know what they’re about. If you don’t know, just keep tapping anyway. It will help and if you tap for long enough you’ll probably get some good insights.  EFT is great like that.

We have this wonderful tool at our fingertips…we just need to remember to use it.

I’m here to help remind you of this amazing tool…

Keep tapping

Exam Stress

Yes, it’s that time of year again when exams and tests are upon us. Whether it is you going through it or your family, EFT can help you.


EFT works by calming down the stress response in our body and clearing any energy blockages. Even just imagining a future stressful event e.g. an exam can trigger our body to go into the stress response. Our adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol levels raise, our heart rate and respiration increase, our palms become sweaty etc.

So by tapping we can reduce this stress response in our body, allowing us to focus and concentrate better – just what you need in an exam right?  My recommendation is to tap a lot before the exam. You can do this by imagining sitting in the exam room and notice how you feel. Notice the response in your body.


If you feel nervous and have butterflies in your stomach & a tightness in your chest then use that.  Here’s what the tapping statements might look like:

  • Even though I feel nervous and have a tight chest and butterflies in my stomach when I think about doing my exam, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have a nervous feeling in my stomach as I imagine doing my exam, I choose to let that go
  • Even though I’m nervous and have a tight chest imagining doing my exam, what if it doesn’t have to be like that

Tap through the rounds using a combination of the key feelings and body sensations. Keep tapping and checking in with your bodily reactions.  These may move around your body and the sensations may change as you progress through the tapping rounds.  Keep chasing the sensations until they disappear. When you think you’re done, try to make yourself feel nervous/stressed to clear the issue as much as possible. Imagine the exam as vividly as possible. The idea is that you imagine all the scenarios during the exam, e.g. waiting to go into the room, sitting at your desk, being handed the exam paper, turning the exam paper over, looking around the room, seeing an examiner walk past, getting stuck on a question etc.  Then keep tapping until you can’t feel stressed or worried when you vividly imagine all the aspects or imagining the worst case scenario.

Once all those feelings are cleared you can then imagine feeling calm and doing well in your exam whilst you tap 🙂

Remember you can always use the finger tapping points to very discreetly tap if you do feel nervous or can’t remember something when you’re actually doing your exam.

Keep tapping


Just Rant

When was the last time you had a good rant? Sometimes we need to offload stuff and just let it out. We can be overwhelmed and the smallest thing can send us over the edge as it were (dropping a pint of milk for example).

Things have often built up over time but for one reason or another we’ve held it all in. We’re told to soldier on, just get on with it, count our blessings etc.

What happens when we hold it all in is that it festers away and builds up until you reach breaking point. So allow yourself to let it all out. Shout, scream, punch a pillow or just generally get it out.

Of course, being an EFT Practitioner and massive tapping fan, I recommend tapping and ranting at the same time. Or rant first then tap as you run out of steam. You can often get lots of insights by tapping during or after a good old rant.

Now I’m reminded of that Tears For Fears track…Shout, shout let it all out… (1985 – jeez now I feel old!)

Keep tapping


Tap Away Your Work Stress

How many times have you been so busy at work that you feel absolutely overwhelmed? Deadlines looming, things going wrong, not enough staff, excessive workload – sound familiar? It sends your stress levels soaring and starts to affect your health, wellbeing and relationships.

Whilst EFT can’t help you with your deadlines it can help your stress levels decrease. Begin by focusing on where you feel your stress in your body. Just scan your body and notice where the tension is. Is it in your shoulders and neck? Do you have a tight knot in your stomach or a lump in your throat? Score that on a scale of 0 – 10. You can use that in your tapping statements, e.g.

  • Even though I have all this stress and tension in my neck and shoulders, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have this stress knot gnawing away in my stomach, I’m ok

Now list out all the things that are stressing you out at work, e.g. unachievable timescales, too much work, not enough staff etc.  You can now tap on each one and how you feel about it. E.g.

  • Even though I feel so stressed and overwhelmed because I have too much work to do and it’s just not achievable, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have this stress knot gnawing away in my stomach because I have these unachievable timescales, I accept all my feelings

Remember to keep tapping until you feel calmer. Test your results and check how your body feels now. Keep tapping until you get to 0. Think about going back to work and the challenges you know that are there. Tap on anything else that comes up.

Tap on a daily basis to keep your stress levels in check and stop them building up.

If you’d like some help with tapping on your work stress, drop me an email.

Keep tapping

Fear of Leaving Home

When anxiety kicks in it can be easier to just stay at home. But what if that seems like all the time and eventually you start staying home more and more often? Leaving the house can seem like an overwhelming scary event.

If that sounds like you, here is a script that can help.

  • Even though I have all this anxiety and I just want to stay at home where I feel safe, I’m willing to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have this fear of leaving the house, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I’m so scared and anxious when I leave my house, I’m open to accepting myself anyway

EB: I have this fear of leaving the house
SE: I hate feeling so scared
UE: I feel so overwhelmed when I have to leave the house
UN: I feel so scared when I leave my home
CH: I feel terrified when I leave my house
CB: I feel really anxious when I’m out of my house
UA: I’m scared of having a panic attack if I leave my house
TH: I feel so scared and anxious when I have to leave the house

EB: My palms sweat and I get really anxious
SE: I start to feel sick when I leave my house
UE: My stomach churns when I’m forced to go out
UN: It’s so much easier to just stay at home where I feel safe
CH: I feel so overwhelmed and scared when I have to go out
CB: I’ll have a panic attack if I leave home
UA: I feel so safe at home
TH: I feel comfortable, safe and in control at home

EB: I hate having this fear of leaving home
SE: It restricts my life
UE: I wish it was easier to leave my house
UN: I wish I could just go out without thinking about it
CH: I hate feeling so scared and overwhelmed
CB: I wish I could leave my house easily
UA: I hate having this restriction in my life
TH: I wish I didn’t have this all this fear

Keep tapping on all the different aspects about your fear and anxiety.  When you have tapped on all of them and start to feel calm then you can tap in some positives.  E.g.

  • It’s ok for me to leave my house
  • It’s safe for me to leave my home
  • It gets easier to go out every day
  • I can calmly leave my house

I hope this script helps. If you’d like a one to one session to help with your issue just drop me an email.
Keep tapping

I’m Overwhelmed…Where do I start?

A client recently asked this question. They felt absolutely overwhelmed and when they tried tapping they kept jumping from one issue to the next. My client was tapping in bed because they had recently not been sleeping very well.  I advised several things:

  • Keep a pad of paper & pen next to your bed so that if you wake up with lots of things going around your mind you can write them down and get them out of your head.
  • Write a to-do list and prioritise your tasks.  It is easy when we are overwhelmed to feel like we have to do everything. Don’t waste any time on low priority items.  We forget we can ask for help – delegate tasks where possible.
  • Just tap. Don’t try to tap on each issue or aspect. Just begin tapping and focus on slowing down your breathing and your mind. Focus on your overwhelm and keep tapping until you feel calm.

It is easy to become overwhelmed by the number of issues you have to tap on! So just start tapping and focus on your breathing and slowing down your mind. Once you feel calm then you can begin tapping on specific issues.

When we are overwhelmed and our to-do list seems miles long it is easy to forget about looking after ourselves.  It is even more important to look after ourself at these times but it seems like such a low priority.  Remember to schedule in some down time and do something relaxing such as taking a walk, spending time in nature, doing a meditation or tapping.

Keep tapping

Find Your Inner Sanctuary

Where do you go when you want to get away from it all?

Where do you escape to when life gets too much?

Do you need to go to a physical place to get that sense of peace and quiet?

I used to love going to a particular beach and sit staring out at sea to contemplate life and think, when I needed that space. I no longer live right by the sea, so I have a particular spot in a park that I go to which is right by a river and some wonderful trees. For me whenever I feel I want to stop the world I feel I need to connect with nature. I feel being in nature I connect to my true self and can allow my thoughts to settle and gain some clarity and inner peace.

But we can also create this kind of space within us. We can create our own inner sanctuary where we can go when we need to escape at any time. It might be based on an actual place we have been or seen. Or we can be completely creative and create a space completely from our imagination.

What does the landscape of your inner sanctuary look like? Is it a beach, a lake, a river, a mountain or a desert? Or is it a city scene? Are there any other people around or you are alone? Are there birds or animals there?

You don’t even have to limit yourself to one sanctuary, you could have several depending on your mood and needs at the time you want to get away from it all. Or it could be one sanctuary where the seasons change the landscape around you.

The important thing is that you create a space where you feel calm and connected with yourself. A place where you can feel inner peace. A place where you can think and gain clarity. A place where you can go whenever you need to get away from it all. A place that is just yours.

inner sanctuary
inner sanctuary

Use this inner sanctuary at times of stress or anxiety. Use it whenever you feel overwhelmed by life and you need time alone. Use it when you need to make a decision or contemplate choices. Use it when you want to feel connected to yourself.

I love using my inner sanctuary to help me escape from the world and connect to myself.

I would love to hear about your experiences with your inner sanctuary.

Keep tapping
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It’s Too Painful

Have you ever felt too overwhelmed by your emotions? You feel like you can’t even admit to yourself that you have feelings about this situation because if you did they would all come flooding out and you just wouldn’t be able to cope.

When we feel this way we often stuff our emotions down because they feel too painful or overwhelming to deal with. But that can often lead to those feelings leaching out in other ways. Our shoulders become really tight and knotty, we have an ache in our stomach or we get bad headaches or migraines. This is our body’s way of telling us we need to deal with our feelings.

It can feel too scary to begin to address these feelings because we don’t want to feel out of control or overwhelmed by them. So firstly, please be very gentle with yourself.

You might find the following tapping helpful:

  • Even though it feels too painful to begin to deal with {this situation/these emotions}, I’m willing to be very gentle with myself
  • Even though I feel too overwhelmed by these emotions to begin dealing with them, I’m open to feeling safe and in control
  • Even though I can’t even admit to myself that I have these feelings, I’m willing to be kind and gentle with myself

Tap a few rounds of these type of statements until you feel calmer and more in control.  Then try:

  • Even though I know I’ve been suppressing all these emotions, I choose to be able to let them out slowly in a way I can handle
  • Even though my body has been holding these emotions for me, I choose to be able to calmly let them be heard now
  • Even though these emotions have felt too painful and I’ve been scared of being overwhelmed by them, I choose to allow them out in a safe way now

Once you feel calmer about being able to deal with the situation/emotions then you can start tapping on them. You don’t have to dive right in and start tapping on them straightaway. You can even start by using very generic tapping statements like:

  • Even though I have all these emotions, I accept myself and my feelings
  • Even though these emotions have been difficult to face, I’m ready to deal with them now

Keep tapping using these generic statements until you feel you are ready to be more specific and get into the emotions themselves. Remember you are in control and can stop anytime if they start to feel too painful or overwhelming. You can of course tap on the feelings being too overwhelming and painful again.

EFT can be very gentle if used in this way. EFT is not designed to help us tough it out and push us on when we don’t feel ready. It is there to help us feel we can deal with our emotions safely and at a rate we can handle.

Remember to keep breathing and drink plenty of water.

Keep tapping and be gentle with yourself.
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Under Pressure

Lately I feel I am being pulled in lots of different directions. I don’t feel I am giving anything 100% because so many different things are trying my attention. I am feeling the pressure and don’t quite know what to do next. So instead of doing anything, I am going to just sit down and tap. Sometimes you need to give yourself some space and time to reflect on things rather than jumping in and doing something!

Here are some phrases you can try if you are feeling this way too:

  • Even though I feel under pressure and I don’t know how to deal with all this stuff,  I’m willing to accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel under pressure and pulled in so many different directions, I’m ok anyway
  • Even though I feel so much pressure from so many different things, I accept myself anyway
  • Even though I feel all this pressure and I don’t feel I am doing anything 100%, and I really want to do so much more, I just don’t have enough energy for everything, I’m willing to look at this differently

Just keep tapping until you feel calmer and under less pressure.  Remember to repeat the tapping any time you feel the pressure building again. Tap for all the different things pulling you in different directions.

You can also throw in some positives once the main negative pressure feelings have subsided.

E.g. I can choose to stay calm and focused.

I can easily handle all these different things

I choose to relax and let this pressure go

Keep tapping!
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Tap Every Day Anyway

Many people learn EFT and use it successfully to create a big shift in their life, e.g. overcome a fear, give up smoking or lose weight. Once they have achieved their goal they tend to forget about EFT. EFT is not just a tool for issues such as those already mentioned. It is very much a tool for everyday use. Most people face stress every day. Most people have some sort of challenge every day. It doesn’t matter what the size of the challenge or the stress, it is usually best to deal with it there and then if you can so that you can let it go. By not clearing our daily stress and emotions they tend to build up and build up. Eventually we start to feel overwhelmed. Think of a situation where you “lost it” over something trivial – e.g. dropping the milk. We know it’s not dropping the milk that has caused us to “lose it”, but all the other challenges, stress, niggles and emotions leading up to dropping the milk. So rather than waiting to deal with things until they seem overwhelming, it is much better for us to deal with them on a daily basis and prevent the overwhelm.

My advice is to make EFT a part of every day. Every day we wash and brush our teeth and hair etc. Making EFT a part of your daily routine can really help you reduce your overwhelm, stress and help you handle things much more calmly and easily. So make EFT a part of your daily routine and enjoy the benefits!

Keep tapping!
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I Don’t Know What to Tap On

This is another common thing people say. I don’t know what to tap on or I have so much “stuff” that I don’t know where to start.

A good way to approach this is to start by working on the feeling of overwhelm. It can feel very overwhelming if you have a lot of issues to work on. Rate this feeling of overwhelm on a scale of 0 – 10 (10 is maximum overwhelm) and then do some tapping. E.g.

  • Even though I feel so overwhelmed, I just don’t know where to start, I still love and accept myself anyway
  • Even though I have  too much stuff to work on, it feels too overwhelming, I’m ok right now
  • Even though I feel all this overwhelm because I don’t know where to start, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway

Keep tapping on your overwhelm until you feel calm again. You might want to try tapping on:

  • Even though I don’t know what to tap on, I’m open to the possibility of figuring it out
  • Even though I have so much stuff going on, I don’t know where to start, I still love and accept myself anyway
  • Even though I just don’t know where to start, I deeply and completely accept my feelings anyway

You can also try writing a list of issues you need to work on. Then you could prioritise them by how much they are affecting you on a daily basis or by writing out their score and going for the highest scoring ones first.


EFT - Write a list
Write a list of things to tap on

Another useful approach is Gary Craig’s famous question:

If you had your life to live over, what person or event would you just as soon skip?

This can often highlight the core issue that you need to work on.

Often it can be useful to tap on what is going on with you right now. Tapping to clear out these issues can help you feel ready to deal with other issues from the past.

The key is to just start! Be gentle with yourself and keep tapping. Work your way through your list and watch the issues transform.

I hope this has been useful.

Keep tapping.
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